Feelin' Cheeky
by M. V.
Montgomery
At Niagara
Hey, I don’t see any ducks
here.
Huh?
I thought you said you were going
to show me the waterfowl.
Fuel’s Paradise
Relieved to finally be able to
afford gas for my automobile, I stood there at
the pump, feeling tankful.
Regrettable Introduction
Students, I hope that in this
class you shall all feel mentally challenged.
Compromising Admission
We DIs (Disturbed Individuals) just
love this sort of thing.
More Haile Silly Jokes for My
Amharic Language Readers
Q: Why did the man step on his
girlfriend’s foot after asking her to marry
him? A: Because he wanted her to say awo.
[“yes”]
Q: Why did the Ethiopian captain
send the sailor to the brig? A: Because he
had answered aye, aye. [“no, no”]
Revenge Averted
You’ll pay for this!
How much?
Only $19.95!
Cutting Remarks
I miss my knife. That whittle
widget.
Note to Self: Can’t cut
anything with child safety scissors, need child
cruelty scissors.
Serving One’s Fellows
Donner Party, your table is ready.
Repeat, Donner Party. Your table is ready.
So, Aperçu Me
Behind every ironist, I suspect
there is a closeted sentimentalist.
Profiting off Distress
One more complaint out of you, young
lady, and you will need to put a quarter in the
Angst Jar!
My Neck of the Woods
You might be a cracka if you call a
friend with a new pick-up truck a “yuppie.”
You might be a cracka if you think
“animal husbandry” is illegal.
You might be a cracka if you visit
your neighbor on garbage day and ask, “What
you throwin’ away?”
After the Jalapeno Dip
I scream, you scream, we all
scream for ass cream.
Retro Mantra
How to avoid buying anything: just
say to yourself, the new technology, when it
comes out, will be better. Repeat as
often as necessary.
Round and Round
As a wise man once replied when
asked what keeps him going: Momentum.
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