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An Introverted Life
by Tom Luddecke

There are three people who live in my house; me, myself, and I, and most of the time it is an unbearable situation at best. I would guess that it is because there is a lot of inner turmoil within myself. I can see why not getting along with myself is so very difficult for me to understand.

Sometimes I’m just beside myself and all hell breaks loose with anything from name-calling to thrown objects. I keep reminding myself that I am a person too, and need my own space from time to time. I usually end up leaving in a huff because I really don’t want to hurt myself. Unfortunately these blow-ups leave me stuck in the middle cleaning up the mess.

One day it all finally came to a head. During the last donnybrook I somehow managed to lock myself in the closet, and then pretended that nothing was wrong. However, it didn’t take me long to realize what I had done to myself. It really hit home. I know it hurts me to have to witness and suffer these rancorous confrontations. So I promised not to do that to myself anymore, but it was obvious to me that I couldn’t be trusted to keep my word. This troubled me and I finally began to realize that I can’t blame myself for everything that happens around here.

The problem was I didn’t truly have faith in myself to behave properly and needed to overcome this felling of doubt if things were going to get better. If it were up to me there should be a heartfelt discussion to help heal this relationship. I suggested that perhaps even seeking outside professional help would be a better solution.

So I took myself to counseling, and after a few soul-searching sessions, and many tears of contrition, I began to feel better about myself and headed for home with a renewed optimism. 

This perceptible change in attitude delighted me to no end. I will admit it is still not a perfect association, but at least now I can use some psychological coping skills I learned to help me understand myself when I get distressed. 

There are three people who live in my house; me, myself, and I, and most of the time now there is a fragile harmony within. I know there is still work to be done, but I always tell myself it isn’t fair to me not to keep trying. Things will get better because, when all is said and done, I really like everyone, myself included.