by Jerry Guarino
Many people think that
college was the best time of their life. Thats
when you develop friendships, prepare for a
career and possibly find the love of your life.
In 1971, Tony was a junior at a large California
university. It became his year of living
As fate will sometimes pour blessings on you,
Tony had somehow managed to be dating three coeds
at the same time. He was in a state of grace. Who
were these wonderful women?
Pam (pancake) Johnson, a lovely blond woman,
athletic with blue eyes. Pam dressed in preppy
clothing and even wore penny loafers (look it up).
He nicknamed her pancake, because she only had
time to meet with him at breakfast, usually at
the pancake house and sometimes after love making
at her apartment. Moreover, Pam only had time for
Tony on Mondays and Thursday mornings. This made
dating Pam a scheduled, pleasant experience.
Lisa (pizza) Donatelli, an Italian student from
the East coast. Lisa had a bohemian bent and
often dressed in torn jeans, peasant shirts and
clogs, much like her neighbors in the Haight. Her
dark hair and brown eyes popped as she smiled.
Lisa loved pizza and only had time for Tony at
lunch time and only on Tuesday and Friday
afternoons. Tony loved Lisa and pizza, so it was
a match made in heaven. He thought she might be
the one, before meeting Sasha (see below).
Sasha (pasta) Romanov, a fiery Russian woman with
bright red hair, lipstick and fashion clothes.
Unlike most coeds, Sasha wore designer pants and
satin blouses. She was, after all, an exchange
student from Moscow. And yes, you guessed it, she
only had time for Tony in the evening and only on
Wednesday and Saturday nights. His nickname,
pasta, derived from the fact that she loved
Italian food and of course, so did Tony. They
went to all the Italian restaurants in the Bay
You may have noticed Tony had no paramours on
Sunday. Thank God. That was the day to catch up
on reading, writing papers and prepping for exams
the next week. Although his lovers had ample time
for their studies, Tony had to juggle his time
constantly. As long as this schedule held up, he
would be all right. It was unlikely that any of
the women would see him with one of the others
because the campus and population was so large.
Remember, when they werent seeing Tony,
they were probably in class, the library or
Tony had a DJ gig on the campus radio station,
Sunday, from six to nine at night. He often had
call ins from his listeners requesting songs. Pam
would ask for The Beatles music, Lisa favored
Jefferson Airplane and Sasha loved the wild ones,
Steppenwolf and Led Zeppelin.
The radio station asked him to do his show at the
student union, a dance party. He thought he would
be safe from running into his girlfriends, since
they would all be home studying.
As he spun records, lovely coeds would come up to
him and whisper requests in his ear. This was the
reason he became a DJ in the first place, to meet
Then he saw her, Sasha, in a red satin blouse,
black pants and high heels. She sashayed up to
him and gave him a kiss on the neck. In her
delightfully broken English, she greeted him.
Hello lover. I thought you did your show in
Yes, Sasha, usually, but they needed
someone for the dance. I thought you would be
I needed a break. Besides, I always think
of you at dinner time.
Tony looked around, among the hundreds of people
Well, you should go dance. Theres a
lot of guys who would love to dance with you.
Wont you be jealous? Arent you
afraid someone will take me away from you?
We have a great time together, but I dont
own you. This is college, not the politburo.
Sasha bent down and gave him a long, passionate
kiss. Tonys eyes were closed but he worried
who might be watching.
Do Svidanyia Tony. Maybe you can stop by
after the dance.
Id like that Sasha, probably not
Sasha disappeared into the crowd. Tony was
Whats a girl have to do to get a
Beatles song? Pam snuck up behind Tony and
put her hands over his eyes.
Pam, darling. Youre out late.
I called the station and they told me you
were doing your show from here. I couldnt
wait until tomorrow morning. Where are you going
after the show?
Tony glanced around to see if Sasha was in sight.
Oh, no where special. What did you have in
The IHOP is open late. Would you like some
pancakes and maybe back to my place for an early
Sounds great. Can I meet you there at 11?
Cool, lover. She whispered something
in his ear.
Pam glided out of sight. Tony hoped he was in the
No such luck.
Lisa saw Tony at the DJ desk and ran up to him.
Theres my guy. How are you, Tony?
Lisa, the iconic flower girl, was as pure and
beautiful as usual.
Lisa, I thought you had an early class
Dont you want to see me?
No, thats not it. I just thought
Gr00vy. How about we get a pizza after the
All right, a quick one. Come back at 9 and
Tony was overwhelmed. How could he see Lisa at 9
for a pizza, Sasha at 10 and Pam at 11 for
pancakes and romance? The next hour was torture,
as he played music and tried to find a solution.
Maybe he could reschedule Sasha and have time for
Lisa and Pam.
But a solution did not present itself.
Nine pm. The dance was over. As Tony put away
equipment, he looked up to see his beautiful
girlfriends all walking up to him.
I dont think I have to detail how that went.
Having lost his three girlfriends in one night,
he wasnt ready to go home. He headed to the
theater for the midnight Rocky Horror
show. Sitting in the middle of the seats, he
wondered how this had all gone wrong. A goth girl
with all the Rocky Horror makeup sat next to him.
Hey, wheres your costume?
Oh, I just came from the student union
dance. My name is Tony.
Im Karen. Would you like some popcorn?
Tony smiled and thought to himself.