by Jerry Guarino
Crystal was one of those
secret government agents you never hear about.
Ostensibly, she was a dental hygienist, but in
reality, she was a highly skilled linguistic
interrogator for the CIA. Her special skill was
in deciphering speech and secrets from foreign
Whenever the company
suspected a foreign agent, they would send them
to Crystal for a dental appointment. She would
get out the tools of her trade; cotton, scrapers
and an ultrasonic scaler. First, she would swab
the tongue with a truth serum anesthetic,
disorienting the patient and making them highly
suggestible. The serum also left the patient
completely unaware of what was discussed.
This wont hurt
a bit. Its just to numb any discomfort
during the cleaning.
The patient was already
under the influence of the fluid; his speech was
slurred and unintelligible to most people. But
Crystal understood what he was saying.
Yes, I had a good
summer. What have you been doing? Any travel?
The foreign agent mumbled
something for a bit. She could tell that he just
returned from Washington, D.C., where he was
meeting with officials at the embassy.
Interesting. What did
you talk about?
The agent blathered on,
even popping out some of the cotton.
So, you managed to
turn an FBI agent to assist you. What were they
going to do?
More mumbling. Some spit
drooled out of his mouth.
I see. The FBI agent
was going to give you investigative information
about a politician in high office.
In the white house, I
see. The vice president, you say. Hmm? And what
were you planning to do with him?
High pitched exclamation.
president? When was this going to happen?
Matter of fact mumbling.
On September 11th?
Oh, to make it look
like middle eastern terrorists did it. Clever. So,
let me get this straight. The FBI agent was
telling you about a plot conceived by the vice
president to assassinate the president on
September 11th, am I right?
Crystal put a code into a
phone like device.
This one is an urgent
threat to the president. Please have him see the
Your cleaning is done,
but I want the dentist to check out some
inflammation around your molars. Wont take
They wheeled the foreign
agent to the dentists cubicle where he was
given a poison injection, delayed to work in 48
hours and untraceable.
Crystal cleaned up her
station and went out to the waiting room.
A middle-aged man stood up.
Hi, Im Crystal.
Whats your name?
Tommy, I was referred
to you by my doctor.
Well, we will be sure
to thank them.
Tommy followed Crystal to
her cubicle and sat down in the chair.
Just relax while I
prepare your mouth for cleaning.
I heard you do
painless cleaning. Im kind of sensitive to
this sort of thing.
Oh, yes Tommy, we can
put you to sleep. Would you like that?
I think so.
Crystal put a gas mask over
Tommys mouth and nose and he was under in a
few seconds. Tommy wasnt actually asleep;
it was Propofol gas. Tommy would be able to have
a conversation but he wouldnt remember
But Tommy was no spy. He
was just a writer with a vivid imagination. His
latest work was a political thriller with Russian
assets working to destabilize the United States
government. Needless to say, Tommys
conversation sounded like an actual plot, but
Crystal didnt know that.
Crystal took out a
miniature listening device and called in to her
Hes ready. Come
Tommy was whisked away in a
black, windowless van bearing the license plate:
Crystal left the office and
made a call to the Russian embassy.
Im ready for my
next assignment comrade.
Secluded with an assortment
of Russian politicos, Tommy was able to complete
his novel in short order. It became a best seller.