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The Chi Spot
by Alison Bennett

Here we are again at Tai Chi, week six.  We are going to open the ‘windows and reach for the moon.’ I can’t wait!

I am the most awkward uncoordinated member of the group.  I stand at the back, where my outrageous attempts at the supposedly graceful ancient art are not seen as a hilarious Dawn French type distraction to the more serious members of the group.

All sorts of things cross my mind as I stand in the chilly Village Hall with my little black plimsolls on, like I used to wear for P.E. at Primary School.  Bums are a regular thought.  Bums, well basically you judge others on whether they are (in your opinion) better or worse than your own.  This calculation is based both on the size, and over all attractiveness, of the other bum.

Currently I’m doing very well in the bum stakes but there is one I have to admit that I do have a degree of bum envy over, I think it is mainly because it is so much smaller and firmer than it used to be. It never seems to matter how much I diet or exercise mine is always about the same, stable but critical!

After reading the negative article in the local chapel magazine about Tai Chi, I’m constantly wondering just when my horns and tail will appear, I have a regular little feel around  to check, no sign just yet.  I’m sure the tutor thinks I’m a bit odd as he caught me carrying out a full inspection last week.

I am rather enjoying this new experience as it’s good for my core strength, always a great attribute to have.  And my stress levels, apart from the constant fear that I may possibly let one go when I lift my leg up to meet my hand, have by and large improved.

The tutor is nice enough, he basically knows I’m a no hoper, so he just leaves me to my own devises and interpretation of what the rest are doing and rarely troubles me.

There is much talk about the Chi, this you can experience as a powerful force that can push your cupped hands apart around a certain point in front of your stomach.  I have observed that some members of the group get quite excited about it.

When meeting up with the ladies for a coffee after the class, I decide to make some enquiries about the Chi, so I say, “Tell me girls have, we found our Chi?”  They all laugh and say, “No not yet.”   Then they ask me and I think deeply and then respond philosophically, “I am 49 years old and I’ve not found my G Spot yet - I think the Chi is looking very unlikely.”  But I’m no quitter, so I’ll have another go next Thursday.