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Seeing Eye Cat
by Len Horridge

“Scientists in Britain have started a programme to use cats as well as dogs as support to help people with impaired vision (as we can’t call them blind people). Whilst dogs have proven to be excellent at this role, there are never enough to meet demand and cats have proved to have higher IQs with a more developed sense of danger. They are highly intelligent and, if trained, will outperform dogs in many areas. Professor Bright of Hall’s End University of Scunthorpe says that, in years to come, cats will be as valuable as dogs in this vital area of disabled support.”

I never volunteered but I knew this was important. Personally, I’d prefer to be asleep but they fed me well and, after a few tricks, they fed me even better.

Now, where’s that To Do list they gave me? Oh, I’m sitting on it, silly me.

Oi! You!! Watch that chair will you. Too late. Third time today.

So, what am I doing here? They’ve shipped me out from that nice University place with all of those bright people with cream and little delicacies and they’ve put me here with this dumb person who keeps shouting some name or other, “Buster, Buster!” all day long and is constantly bumping into stuff in this pokey little flat. Bump, there she goes again. And she never turns that television off though she never looks at it.

Will you stop the bumping!!! Some people are trying to nap around here! Blimey O’Reilly. Hey, and make with some food soon will you?

Well, it was a short lived career at University and I liked it so this is some sort of purgatory, I suppose. They treated me very well and I liked those tests they…

Will you STOP that bumping? I mean, what does a cat need to do to get some rest around here? Let’s get that To Do List out. No, let’s not. Oh, look , a mucky bit on my fur. I’ll just clean that up and, then, time for a nap…