by Jerry Guarino
The intruder cased out the
upscale homes in the quiet harbor town. He
wandered back and forth, circling front and
backyards. Then he rang the doorbell, one of
those with a camera. The wife answered hesitantly.
Maam. My name
is Donald Ames of Ames Pest Control. I do a
comprehensive preventative care package for only
$500. I was just completing a job up the street
and thought you might have the same problem they
Sorry, we dont
need a comprehensive pest control package.
The woman closed the door.
Actually, Donald hadnt
just finished a job up the street, but he did
manage to annoy many of the neighbors that he
pitched to. These houses were only a couple years
old and were unlikely to have any pest
But Donald was an
enterprising bug killer. After hours, he came
back and sprayed a gooey red paste around the
edges and even used a gun like device to shoot
the paste in the eaves of the house, near the
roof line. Within a week, there were minor
infestations around the neighborhood, all spaced
out to prevent neighbors from noticing who caused
The next month Donald
returned, along with his superior attitude. He
rang the doorbell.
Sir. I dont
know if youre aware, but you have some ants
around your ground floor and a couple of hornet
nests in your eaves. I can take care of that for
you right away.
Well, prevention is
always less expensive than treatment. This will
run you about $2500, but I can start right away.
Give me your card. Ill
have to talk to my wife about this.
Donald gave him his card.
Dont wait too long. These problems
only get worse. And more expensive.
But his wife was a
detective on the town police force.
Dear, some pest
control guy came and tried to get me to pay $2500
for treating ants and hornets.
I know that guy. He
was here last month, trying to sell a
preventative treatment. I bet hes been all
over our neighborhood.
She canvassed others in the
neighborhood and confirmed that this guy has been
selling the same scam to several others.
Fortunately, all the neighbors had those security
systems and cameras around the house. The
detective accessed the video feeds from the
affected neighbors and saw this same guy
spreading something along the houses, when the
homeowners were away at work or late at night.
The security company was
more than willing to link the detectives
cell phone into their system. One night around
midnight, her phone beeped. It was a live feed
from the security company. She headed out to the
location showing on the feed.
The detective quickly but
quietly snuck up behind Donald, and confronted
What are you doing?
Im putting down
a prevention treatment for the homeowners. Im
in pest control.
The detective put handcuffs
So am I.
Donald was caught red
handed and led off to jail.
Control by Jerry Guarino
Copyright September, 2019 All Rights