On Seeking a
Place for a Picnic
by K. A. Laity
|Deciding I wanted
A sunny day spent somewhere nice,
I decided to turn to the ones that I knew
And plead for their prudent advice.
My father behind his newspaper
Harrumphed there was no other site
For picnicking fun and good cheer
Than Broadbottom, somewhere near Hyde.
"If you want go somewhere that's
said my mum, busy painting Lord Palmer,
(whom it must be said was showing great
"Loose Bottom, East Essex, near
My thoughts in a whirl I got out the
And looked for my rail card all over,
While Remington added with a cough so
"Consider Nether Wallop, Andover."
Such names and such places, I would blush
That I could in no way endure 'em.
"Pity me!" I cried, but mum
shook her head,
"Pity Me, why that's way north of
My brother popped in with a big roguish
And suggested a locality rare,
"You can't do much better in this
kind of weather
Than spread your blanket at Minges near
I covered my ears and ran from the room,
Sought escape from such scandalous sites;
Great Snoring, Clenchwarton, or Buttock
Dancing Dicks? No, it just wasn't right!
The better to recover my composure,
I sought the hills to stifle my sobs;
After all there's no greater soother
Of wild thoughts than Lord Hereford's