Jack and Jill
by Jerry Guarino
Jack and Jill pedaled up
the hill in the bright sunshine of a Washington
getting too old for these climbs.
I know Jack. My knee
is starting to ache. But I love our bike time.
Maybe its time
to get one of those electric bikes.
They ordered two eBikes
from California, backordered because of the
demand. After a few weeks, Jack opened an email
to say the delivery was on its way.
Jill, the bikes are
leaving California today. They should arrive on
I cant wait!
Meanwhile, Tim the delivery
driver was winding his way up from the central
coast towards Seattle. Tim loved his job, often
stopping along the way to get local treats and
generally smelling the roses. He was not a type A
driver. Although he was only 19, he had the soul
of a 1960s hippie.
His first stop was in San
Francisco, delivering some tie dye fabrics for a
small clothing boutique in Haight Ashbury.
The owner opened the box
right away. Oh, these are just perfect. We
can make more t-shirts for the farmers
market this weekend.
Tim was intrigued. Do
you have any shirts done?
Of course, take a
look in our shop.
Tim browsed the display of
colorful shirts, some with peace symbols and some
with words. He finally settled on a blue, orange
and green shirt with the words take it easy
on the back. He put it on over his uniform shirt.
Back on the road, his next
delivery was in Berkeley, home of the University
of California and peaceful protests that hadnt
completely finished from 1969. Easing down
Channing Way, he pulled into the Solar Car Wash (yes,
Opening up the back door,
he pulled out two large boxes of solar panels and
handed them to the owner.
Say, how does this
The solar panels
store electricity and power the car wash brushes.
What happens if its
Well, then its
hand washing until the batteries are full again.
Say, your truck looks like it could use a
cleaning. Half price for delivery trucks.
Tim smiled. All right,
but make it quick, I have to get going.
The truck was all lathered
up and moving through the wash cycle when the
system shut down. Tims truck was locked in
the middle of the machine; he tried to see out of
the soap covered windshield.
Hello? The wash
Dont worry, my
friend. The backup generator should kick in any
An hour later, the car wash
started up, the soap having dried onto the
delivery truck and Tim came out the other side.
The owner apologized.
Im so sorry. No charge. Take it easy.
No worries, but I
have to get going.
Driving up University
Avenue, he saw a group of women offering car
Might as well get
this dry soap off. My truck looks like a pop art
experiment. What are you raising money for?
A pretty coed in cut off
jeans came up. Were donating money to
the shelters in town. Theres a lot of
homeless in Berkeley.
I see. Well,
Tim thought to himself. I
should have gone to college.
The Cal sorority girls did
a quick, but thorough job cleaning the truck and
Tim was back on the road towards Oregon. He came
to a fork, either 101 North, the coastal route or
I-5, the faster interstate. Tim took the slower
road along the coast. That may have been a
By the time he reached
Eureka, he was exhausted and hungry. He decided
to eat, stay at a motel and get an early start in
the morning. He overslept. It was 10:00am when he
woke up. He grabbed a fast food order from a
drive thru and started driving, knowing he couldnt
make up the time by speeding.
I should have taken
route 5. Its mid-day Thursday and Im
not even in Oregon yet.
Meanwhile, Jack was checking the status of his
bikes. Still says Friday by the end of the
Great, it will be
perfect weather for a ride.
It was Thursday night, when Tim arrived in
Troutdale, Oregon, a small town outside of
Portland. He parked his truck to get dinner at a
Inside, he ordered a burger.
A pretty waitress brought it to him. Her name tag
said Heather. She wore bell bottom jeans, a red
Danskin top and flip flops. Her hair was long and
straight. All she needed was flowers in her hair
to complete his fantasy.
Would you like
anything else? Were about to close.
Wheres a motel?
I can show you. Let
me close your tab and get my things.
Tim was starting to get
excited. Maybe this is the beginning of something.
Heather took Tim to her
apartment, a two bedroom she shared with a
Sit down, would you
like some wine?
Heather brought a bottle.
They shared it, along with some pot. Tim was
totally relaxed as was Heather. They made love.
Heather brought out two brownies.
Here, try these Tim.
They both ate the brownies,
hungry from the wine, pot and making love. What
Tim didnt know was the brownies had LSD in
It was Sunday before Tim
left, but he didnt mind. He had spent days
with his fantasy flower girl and the best love he
had ever had. She kissed him goodbye.
Hope to see you again
He stayed the night. He
could get up early to deliver the bikes to
Washington, only a few hours north.
Jill got an email from the shipping company. The
delivery date now says by the end of the day
Monday. Jack, the bikes wont be here
disappointing. Three days late. What happened?
It doesnt say.
Take it easy, dear.
Well have plenty of time to ride.
Tim pulled onto his final
stop to deliver the eBikes for Jack and Jill.
They came out, a little perturbed.
Finally, we thought
these were coming on Friday.
Im sorry guys.
You wouldnt believe the disasters that I
had to go through to get these to you.
Tim left for California.
Jack and Jill started to unpack the bikes and
began the assembly, following a video provided by
the company. They had almost finished the bikes
when they came to the last step: attach the seat
and secure it.
Where are the seats
Check the boxes.
I did, theyre
Tim returned to Troutdale
to rendezvous with his new lover Heather. After
another day of bliss, he had to return to the
bike company in California.
Tim, where have you
Why, I just took my
days off in Oregon, seeing the sites.
A customer in
Washington said you didnt deliver the bike
seats. We had to fly them up overnight. Cost us $100.
Were docking that from your pay check.
Tim checked the back of his
truck. Under some packing blankets, there they
were, two eBike seats.
decided to go back to school. Theres a nice
junior college in Oregon.
Tim settled into a nice
college life with Heather.
Jack and Jill could finally
go up the hills again.
and Jill by Jerry Guarino
Copyright July, 2020 All Rights Reserved