I am the writer;
I speak for the programmers
(with apologies to Dr. Seuss)
by Jerry Guarino
Has anyone else noticed the
phenomenon of clicking on the wrong application
when using a mouse? This happens most often when
you start your computer and multiple applications
are loading. It also happens on websites where
advertising or alerts are popping up when all you
want to do is begin a task. Because you are a
savvy tech user, you anticipate where on the
screen you will be clicking next. But instead of
the satisfaction that comes with being able to
increase your efficiency through learning how to
navigate, you are thwarted from accomplishing
your task. I am the writer; I speak
for the programmers.
Here are a couple of examples. You open a website
and a pop up appears simultaneously, asking if
you want to join their mailing list or
advertising a deal or asking to complete some
annoying survey. You immediately run your mouse
to the ‘X’ or ‘NO’ mark, but
just before you press the left key on your mouse,
one of four things happens: 1) the pop up
disappears and your left click closes the website
you just opened or 2) closing the pop up
generates another pop up asking “if you are
sure you don’t want to join their mailing
list or get a deal or complete a survey” or
3) the screen shifts so that your click does not
close the pop, but moves it slightly, negating
the right and good efficiency your mind has
programmed or 4) closing the pop up also selects
something on the website you didn’t want to
do, extending the time it takes to get where you
want to go. I am the writer; I speak
for the programmers.
Now technology is not the problem. The problem is
marketing people who set up these roadblocks to
productivity. If it were up to programmers,
applications and websites would be clean,
efficient and pop up free. They would be designed
for speed and place selection buttons in the most
convenient place on the screen (the center right
of the display for most people). Moreover,
generating code for all these pop ups and sub
routines creates an excess of bytes floating
around the electronic world. The Internet is
large enough without the exponential addition of
bytes that not only don’t serve a useful
purpose, but also actually make life more
frustration and time consuming for the average
computer user. We blame the programmers because
who else could have designed it this way. I
am the writer; I speak for the programmers.
Ah, but you say, there’s an easy solution to
this. Disable pop ups on your browser or
application. But there are some programs and
websites that don’t work if you do that.
Well, maybe you can contact the developers of
those programs and ask how you can enable pop ups
for their application. ? Oops, I forgot that you
wouldn’t know which programs aren’t
working perfectly, because the programmers are
too busy coding the unnecessary desires of the
marketing people to properly add more elegant
design that would notify you if pop ups were
required. I am the writer; I speak
for the programmers.
If this isn’t stopped soon, there will be so
many millions of extra bytes floating around, the
virtual equivalent to a hole in the ozone, that
they may get together and form a virtual union or
some exclusive club. The time is now. These bytes
are already planning their takeover of the
virtual world. They have already taken over the
online pornography sites, where closing a pop up
generates more pop ups. Even now as I write this,
they are moving through firewalls to attack
mainstream programs. We are all doomed. Unless!
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