Copse Could Be
Policemen!
by Michael Franklin
We are all
familiar with the word abominable. It means very
nasty. But please focus on it for a moment, close
the doors and windows so your neighbours do not
hear you saying it, and then say it. Most of our
use of the English language is reading rather
than chatting - the internet and emails,
newspapers, books, prices and labels in the local
supermarket, timetables, road signs - and
possible alternative meanings of the words pass
us by. If we ignore the spelling and just hear
the sound there are many surprises awaiting us.
When someone says abominable, we are hearing a
bomb in a bull. Because of the flow of
conversation we do not notice the alternative
meanings present in the sound of the words.
Someone says “the reception was
abominable” and our understanding is
instant. However, if you saw a cattle laxative
advertised as “a bomb in a bull” it
would not be less instant. I always think of a
bulldozer as a cattle sleeping pill. Hearing the
word carnation I think of Japan, and euthenasia
are young Chinese of course.
A browse
through the Oxford English Dictionary will offer
you much amusement and surprise. Let your
imagination wander. There are a more than two
hundred words which - in the wrong context -
could be misunderstood. It would be ponderous to
bring them all into this piece of chatter, but
let’s have a look at some.
Abandon
could be Glen Millar, and accrue are those
guys running the ship. You might hear acquire echoing
from your local church (icing in choirs
occasionally), and adieu coming out of the
Synagogue opposite. I love a beer or two and appetite
defines me perfectly, having more booze than boos
hopefully. I usually finish early it being
naughty to scintillate. Offered a drink, I
said yes yesterday, and yesterday. It came
from a Scotsman - tarmac! Fortitude at a
big dinner, and was the cannibal gladiator?
He probably did more than liquor, and she
gave him energy enough to go for a newsprint!
Hopefully you are getting the point now. Yes - a sauerkraut
is a miserable German, and the lamination
is New Zealand of course...
Inevitably,
there are many words that have impolite
alternative meanings. Is a peanut someone
who does not like to be more than five minutes
away from a convenience at any time, and is a peewit
someone who thinks they are stupid? Do not think
too profoundly about peashooter and, in
these days of increasing obesity, think of lobotomy
cautiously. Do not ever visit Bangkok.
Footnote: A
stray thought. Ladies’ seductive lingerie
was not invented in Brazil - it came
from Nicaragua.
|
