Bird Lady and
the Bunnies
by Jerry Guarino
The summer romance between
Marley (the terrier) and Boston (the labradoodle)
brought six new pups to the pond neighborhood.
The pups were an odd site, curly hair like their
mom and short, compact bodies like dad. Of course,
half the pups inherited their mom’s allergy
to cats and dogs. And that wasn’t the only
news by the pond. A new woman moved in, obsessed
with birds and bunnies.
Jeri was the first to
notice. “Hey guys. This woman has some kind
of bird on her shoulder, walking around the
neighborhood.”
“It’s a white
cockatoo” said Marley.
“That’s not all”
said Boston. “Did you see the bunnies in her
yard?”
“Bunnies?”
“Yes. There are a half
dozen, like a family. Beautiful brown and grey
bunnies. A mom, dad and four baby bunnies, eating
carrots in her garden. I think they come over
from the woods to eat.”
“Wow. She lets them
eat out of her garden? No wire fence to keep them
out?”
“Guess she doesn’t
mind. That’s not all. She has those bird
feeders that stick to the window, filled with
bird food. Birds eat there all day long.”
“So, she’s a
friend of wildlife?”
Jeri disagreed. “Not
at all. I went over there to chase some birds and
she shot water at me with the hose. I have to
watch them through cracks in the fence.”
“We should have duck
go check it out.”
“Good idea.”
***
The next day, duck met the
gang at the pond with his report.
“I talked to the birds
in her yard. They said she loves them and the
bunnies but hates cats and dogs.”
Jeri was insulted. “What’s
wrong with cats and dogs? We’re just as
lovable as birds and bunnies.”
“That’s not all.
They told me the cockatoo wants to escape the
woman. Apparently, she plays the worst music and
television shows. He’s losing his mind.”
“He rides on her
shoulder walking around the neighborhood. Why
doesn’t he just fly away?”
“He says there’s
a GPS collar on him, wired for shocking if he
gets too far from her phone.”
“That’s cruel.”
“What’s the
cockatoo’s name?”
“Larry.”
“Seriously, Larry bird?”
“I told you she was
cruel.”
“We have to help Larry
escape.”
After some considerable
planning, they sent duck back to Larry to give
him the details. They would help Larry go
underground, living secretly near the house for
food from the bird feeders, but out of the reach
of the shock collar. The bunnies would play a
crucial part, unlocking the collar and disposing
of it. Larry would be free at last.
The woman became depressed,
unable to find Larry, who had been sleeping in
Jeri’s house (the stoners never even noticed)
and eating at the garden and bird feeders when
the woman wasn’t looking. The bunnies were
excellent lookouts.
The next day at the pond,
Boston and the pups were celebrating. Larry flew
over to thank them.
“You guys are great. I’m
a free bird, never again listening to Lawrence
Welk music and game shows from the 1960s.”
A few of the pups sneezed.
“Jeri, would you mind
moving back a bit?”
“No problem Boston.
They are cute though. I’ll get you some
antihistamine.”
“Thanks.”
Bird
Lady and the Bunnies by Jerry Guarino
Copyright October, 2019 – All Rights
Reserved
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