Bird Lady and
by Jerry Guarino
The summer romance between
Marley (the terrier) and Boston (the labradoodle)
brought six new pups to the pond neighborhood.
The pups were an odd site, curly hair like their
mom and short, compact bodies like dad. Of course,
half the pups inherited their moms allergy
to cats and dogs. And that wasnt the only
news by the pond. A new woman moved in, obsessed
with birds and bunnies.
Jeri was the first to
notice. Hey guys. This woman has some kind
of bird on her shoulder, walking around the
Its a white
cockatoo said Marley.
Thats not all
said Boston. Did you see the bunnies in her
Yes. There are a half
dozen, like a family. Beautiful brown and grey
bunnies. A mom, dad and four baby bunnies, eating
carrots in her garden. I think they come over
from the woods to eat.
Wow. She lets them
eat out of her garden? No wire fence to keep them
Guess she doesnt
mind. Thats not all. She has those bird
feeders that stick to the window, filled with
bird food. Birds eat there all day long.
So, shes a
friend of wildlife?
Jeri disagreed. Not
at all. I went over there to chase some birds and
she shot water at me with the hose. I have to
watch them through cracks in the fence.
We should have duck
go check it out.
The next day, duck met the
gang at the pond with his report.
I talked to the birds
in her yard. They said she loves them and the
bunnies but hates cats and dogs.
Jeri was insulted. Whats
wrong with cats and dogs? Were just as
lovable as birds and bunnies.
Thats not all.
They told me the cockatoo wants to escape the
woman. Apparently, she plays the worst music and
television shows. Hes losing his mind.
He rides on her
shoulder walking around the neighborhood. Why
doesnt he just fly away?
He says theres
a GPS collar on him, wired for shocking if he
gets too far from her phone.
Seriously, Larry bird?
I told you she was
We have to help Larry
After some considerable
planning, they sent duck back to Larry to give
him the details. They would help Larry go
underground, living secretly near the house for
food from the bird feeders, but out of the reach
of the shock collar. The bunnies would play a
crucial part, unlocking the collar and disposing
of it. Larry would be free at last.
The woman became depressed,
unable to find Larry, who had been sleeping in
Jeris house (the stoners never even noticed)
and eating at the garden and bird feeders when
the woman wasnt looking. The bunnies were
The next day at the pond,
Boston and the pups were celebrating. Larry flew
over to thank them.
You guys are great. Im
a free bird, never again listening to Lawrence
Welk music and game shows from the 1960s.
A few of the pups sneezed.
Jeri, would you mind
moving back a bit?
No problem Boston.
They are cute though. Ill get you some
Lady and the Bunnies by Jerry Guarino
Copyright October, 2019 All Rights