|I would love to
share my poetry with the rest of humanity.
But the process of achieving it is
driving me to insanity!
Oh for it to be simple as in "Here's
my poem what do you think?"
Yet the rules and guidelines for sending
it get me skating over the brink!
"Poets from Manchester
need only apply."
"If you're not gay or a practising
feminist then it's bye bye."
Don't send in unsolicited poems you
unheard of, aspiring, poet stalker.
Hang on! Unsolicited? Don't make me out
as some kind of street walker!
accept work though an agent." I'm
not Madonna incidentally.
Perhaps my driver could drop off my
manuscript to you in his Bentley?
If you don't include an SAE we'll chuck
your work in a nearby ditch.
Don't forget the covering letter to the
Editor you must grovel like a bitch!
If it's not double
lined spacing admin will be squaking.
All this technology..Hey! I'm not Stephen
I'm not good with computers I'm just a
Yet one typing misdemeanour and you're
saying I could blow it!
Did Wordsworth have
to use Microsoft Publisher for his
Did his daffodils have to be Welsh and
lesbian in origin?
Doesn't this contradict the poet's
license to freedom and creativity?
Shrouding their imagination in geeky
When my PC is
crashing very flowery language my mouth
Why can't I just go and be inspired by
nature and sit serenely in a field?
If there's all this hassle before my
poems get round to being inspected.
It ruddy feels like I'm being rejected
before I've even been rejected!
I've written all my
life and just want something to show for
Dear Hallowed Editor give me a chance - I'm
a poet and I know it!