by Roz Warren
A dream about eating corn on the cob symbolizes a
deep desire to floss.
Dreaming about a winged horse means youre
tired of your commute.
A dream about Elvis indicates that youre
old enough for an AARP membership.
A dream about George Clooney is so common as to
A dream about shrubbery symbolizes that your
husband was a lot more fun to kiss before he grew
A dream encounter with a kangaroo means its
time to renew your zoo membership.
A dream about being asleep is redundant.
Dreaming about a librarian means that although
you think you returned all your library books,
one actually fell out of your tote bag and is
still sitting in your trunk, accruing overdue
A lightening strike in a dream is an indication
that youd like to kill your boss.
A dream in which an ant gets squashed means that
your boss would like to kill you.
A dream about eyelashes means that you read too
many fashion magazines.
A dream about Kardashians means that the world is
going to hell in a hand basket.
A dream about entrails means that youd
better not forget your mother-in-laws
A dream about a thunderstorm means that your
husband is snoring again.
A knife may appear in your dream to indicate that
when youre a Jet youre a Jet all the
A dream containing a scale indicates that you
need to stop gobbling chocolate chip cookies
Dreaming of an elephant means your husband needs
to stop gobbling chocolate chip cookies before
Dreaming of a raging fire means you forgot to
turn down the thermostat before you went to bed.
(Or else its just another hot flash.)
Dreaming of a waterfall means you left the water
To see muscles in your dream suggests that you
have some unresolved Schwarzneggerian
A dream about a train wreck means that youd
better stop voting Republican.
Dreaming of riding in a taxi indicates that when
you wake up extra early tomorrow morning and rush
out the door to make sure you get to that
important meeting on time, your car isnt
going to start.
Dreaming of a pig being cleaned means you think
dream interpretation is a bunch of hogwash.