The Tea Basket
by Zach Smith
All I wanted for
Christmas one year was one of those nice tea
baskets. You know the kind, with a few varieties
of teas, crackers, summer sausage, that sort of
thing. They aren’t very expensive and you
can find them anywhere. Just about every night, I
would drink tea, eat a little platter of crackers
and cheese, and watch video tapped episodes of
the Twilight Zone. It was a great way to wind
down.
I got the basket,
not much of a surprise, it was literally the only
thing I asked for. Instead of going to any number
of stores to get a basket already assembled,
displayed, and sealed with shrink wrap, my mother
and aunt had made it themselves, piece by piece:
a nice looking tea pot, a few small cups and a
basket from a flea market; summer sausage, dried
salami, artisan crackers, short breads, lemon
curd, sample sized jams, mustard, and even caviar
from the grocery store. My aunt (the artsy one in
the family) put the basket together. I wanted to
wait until things had calmed down and there was a
full week of free evenings, in order to open, eat,
and finish all the different treats before they
would go bad.
On a Monday night
in early January the tea basket was finally
cracked into. I made a nice pot of Earl Gray, and
on a long platter assembled an arty looking
cheese plate. I ate slowly, making sandwiches out
of the crackers, summer sausage, and smoked Gouda,
using a tiny fork and strangely bent knife to
assemble each one. Eating each sandwich in two
bites. Taking a sip of tea between each bite and
before and after each sandwich was assembled. I
used one cracker to scoop some of the caviar onto
another cracker. The extra care paid off when
feeling the tiny eggs pop between my teeth.
All in all, it had
been the best tea related experience I ever had.
The following day
I woke up with a sore throat. Since I had no
fever my mom sent me to school. During the day,
my throat had gotten worse. I had tea that night,
but nothing to eat, neither dinner nor delicate
little tea snakes from a well prepared basket.
The sore throat
did not go away, not for two whole months. I saw
the same doctor any number of times, but he
couldn’t figure it out. The inside of my
bottom lip was full of lacerations like I’d
been chewing tobacco for decades. My uvula was
inflated with an ulcer growing right on it. For
breakfast I would eat a single pop tart for the
entire day.
Near the tail end,
and 40 pounds lighter, the doctor finally figured
out that it was mono. He gave me some medicine
and in another two weeks or so things were
somewhat back to normal.
I could eat real
food again. Of course by that time everything
that had been in the tea basket had gone bad, but
I learned my lesson. I never asked for such a
simple Christmas gift again.
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