by Howard Reeves
Mr. Lambert, youve just won the lottery!
God! The lottery?
Lambert, you are the winner of one million
dollars. How do you feel about that, sir?
my wifes on the other phone. Honey? Youre
not gonna believe thiswe won the lottery!
Im not sure.
onno, not you sweetheart, Im
talkin to the guy on the other phone.
him what lottery we won.
Mister, what lottery did we win?
won the Middle Minnesota Weekly Winner Lottery.
Congratulations to you and your family! What
do you plan to do with your winnings?
dont knowyethold on. Honey,
whatre we going to do with the money?
kidding? Between the taxes well have to pay
and the fee the bank will charge to keep it,
well probably blow it all in six months.
Lambert, are you ready to accept your lottery
well, suremaybe. Hold on. Hon, should we
just forget about it?
mind what I said.
lottery winnings, sir, how would you like that
sent to you?
you usually send it?
preferred method is direct deposit. What bank do
on. Hello, hon? He wants to know the
name of our bank so they can send the money. Should
I tell him?
some kind of scam?
dont know, it sounds kosher.
talk to him, honeyhold on. Hello,
Mister? How else can we get the money?
pick it up at our office and get your photo taken
with your check.
Hang on. Honey,
do we want our picture taken with the check?
thats all we needpeople recognizing
us, stopping us on the street, telling us all
their sob stories. Cmon, get real.
want the money, but we dont want it sent to
our bank and we dont want our picture taken
at your office. Any other options?
Fed Ex it to you, if you prefer.
sec. Honey, how about if they Fed Ex it to
guesshold on. Mister, is that overnight?
Hon, they can overnight it.
minute, isnt tomorrow the day we take the
kids to your mothers?
dont want a check sitting outside our front
door while were gone.
what should I tell him?
you think? Hes got to come up with
I dont know how were going to do this. We
dont want to go through the bank, and we
dont want any publicity photos. And my
mother will make our lives miserable if she
doesnt see the kids tomorrow. So why
dont we just save a lot of grief and forget
the whole thing.
choice, Mr. Lambert. With the economy in turmoil,
we really dont have the money to give you