The Guitar
Lesson
by Jeff Burton
Okay
then, let's begin by learning a chord. We'll
start with the A chord because it's relatively
easy to play. First, take your index finger and
place it just behind the second fret of your D
string.
No,
your left hand. On the D string. It's the third
string from the top.
Yes,
I know D is the fourth letter in the alphabet,
but the strings aren't arranged in alphabetical
order.
Yes,
it might be a good idea if they were.
Just
behind the second fret. The frets are those
silver metal things going across the neck of your
guitar.
Yes,
I suppose there are a lot of new words to learn.
No,
just behind the second fret. That's the third
fret. Now you're on the G string. The D string,
just behind the second fret.
Look,
see my finger? Put your finger where mine is.
No, I
didn't mean put your finger on top of mine, I
meant put your finger on YOUR guitar where mine
is on MY guitar. Yes, I can see that would be a
little confusing.
No,
just BEHIND the fret, not on it. Now you're on
the E string. Third string down, the D string. No,
not the third fret, just behind the second fret.
Push
down a little with your finger tip. Yes, it will
feel uncomfortable to start with but you'll get
used to it. No, the D string, second fret. Now
pluck the string. No, that doesn't sound very
good does it? But you've moved your finger again.
The SECOND fret, just behind the fret bar. No,
the D string.
Yes,
that is an interesting thought. We're starting on
the D string even though we're making an A chord
because A chords have three notes in them, A, E
and C#. Yes, I know there's no D in there, that's
why we need to put our finger on the D string, to
change it's note to an E. No, we're not learning
an E chord. Remember the A chord has an E note in
it? Yes, it IS confusing. Could we just get back
to the second fret of the D string? No, I'm not
getting cross. Second fret. Just behind the fret
bar. Third string. Now pluck it.
Look,
you just moved your finger again. What on earth
is wrong with you? Second fret, third string. No,
not third fret second string. The D string. Yes,
I know D is not A. Look, I just explained all
this.
Put
your finger on the D string at the second fret.
Good grief, the D string! Was your brain deprived
of oxygen at birth? The D string, the third
string. No, not third from the bottom! From the
top! Put your finger there. No, your left hand
you idiot! Your index finger. Yes, the one you
point with. No, it's not rude if you're playing
guitar. Seriously, are you having some kind of
mental breakdown? The second fret. Look at your
fat little finger! It's on the fifth fret of E
string! I said the D string, the second fret.
Look where my finger is. See it? It's on the end
of my hand on the guitar fretboard, you moron. No,
my left hand. God! Did someone bring you here? I
hope you didn't drive. Time's up.
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