Relationship 101
by Howard Reeves
The other
night, my girlfriend, Allison—without saying
a word—got up from the green lounge chair,
walked down the steps to where she parked her car
and drove home. I sat there for a good hour-and-a-half
thinking about what I might’ve said. Or
perhaps didn’t say. But then I thought maybe
it was the encroaching canopy of trees hovering
above the deck that freaked her out. She once
told me that she was a little bit claustrophobic.
The whole
night I was telling her how much I like being
with her, how we have a lot in common. Like
spending time together at the beach, or playing
Super Trivia at Eddie’s Sports Grill. Oh,
sure, I could’ve said I loved her—women
kill for that. But I just couldn’t say it.
Maybe I don’t know what it means to love, really
love, someone. Maybe I’m afraid of
commitment. I mean, a relationship is major. To
tell the truth, it scares the shit out of me.
I spend the
next two days wandering around the house, barely
eating. I’m wondering if maybe I said
something wrong, or maybe not enough. It’s
starting to gnaw at me—what does she want?
Am I that shallow that I can’t even tell her
how I really feel? Maybe I should call her up,
ask her how she’s doing. Tell her that I
really enjoyed being with her the other night. I
wonder if she’ll feel the same way. I
don’t know. What should I do?
I pick up the
phone then put it back down. I take a deep breath
and whoosh it out before picking it up
again. I dial quickly, trying not to be nervous
while her phone rings. Damn! It’s her answer
machine—what’ll I say? The recorded
voice sounds relaxed, mellow. So maybe she’s
not pissed at me for any reason—oh, sweet
Jesus, there’s the tone!
“Uh—hi
Allison, it’s—uh—me—Mark. I
just want to tell you that—that I—that
I—uh—love you.”
Instantly, I
hang up the phone. I laugh, relieved. But then I
feel a sudden lump in my stomach—a big
sickening lump. What if that wasn’t her? The
voice on the other end had more timbre. It seemed
a little deeper than Allison’s, hers is
light and sweet. This was the voice of a stranger.
Did I dial the wrong number? Should I try to call
her again? What the hell should I do?
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