Pillow Talk
by Robert John
Miller
"I'm
going out tonight. I thought you would want
to go out tonight. We haven't been out for a
while."
"But you
promised."
"Are you
coming or not?"
"All day
I've thought about pillows. Foam rubber pillows,
down-filled pillows, feather pillows, throw
pillows, body pillows, boppy pillows. In my head
we have already had an entire conversation about
whether or not couch cushions count as pillows,
and while I formulated what I feel is an airtight
case for my point of view, I decided to let stand
whatever you thought since this whole thing was
your idea in the first place. In approximately
two hours there will be a knock on our door. It
will be the delivery of a sand-filled pillow. I
had it expedited, and it was going to be
hilarious."
"You can't
be serious."
"I wrote
it on the refrigerator calendar. I made tweets
about it all day. I wrote the first rule of
Pillow Fight Club on my Facebook, and all ready
you are making me break that rule. And it's the
only rule. We are currently breaking the only
rule of Pillow Fight Club."
"I won't
tell anybody if you don't."
"We were
going to stay in and watch John Cusack movies and
eat ice cream. We were going to be very silly. We
were not going to think about tomorrow. And there
was going to be a delivery, and you were going to
say, "Are you expecting something?" And
I was going to say, "I don't think so,"
and then I would open the box and clobber you
with a sand-filled pillow, and you couldn't even
be mad because it would be so funny. It was going
to be a celebration."
"You are
insane."
"I'm in
love with you."
"We're
breaking up."
"But you
promised."
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