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Pillow Talk
by Robert John Miller

"I'm going out tonight. I thought you would want to go out tonight. We haven't been out for a while."

"But you promised."

"Are you coming or not?"

"All day I've thought about pillows. Foam rubber pillows, down-filled pillows, feather pillows, throw pillows, body pillows, boppy pillows. In my head we have already had an entire conversation about whether or not couch cushions count as pillows, and while I formulated what I feel is an airtight case for my point of view, I decided to let stand whatever you thought since this whole thing was your idea in the first place. In approximately two hours there will be a knock on our door. It will be the delivery of a sand-filled pillow. I had it expedited, and it was going to be hilarious."

"You can't be serious."

"I wrote it on the refrigerator calendar. I made tweets about it all day. I wrote the first rule of Pillow Fight Club on my Facebook, and all ready you are making me break that rule. And it's the only rule. We are currently breaking the only rule of Pillow Fight Club."

"I won't tell anybody if you don't."

"We were going to stay in and watch John Cusack movies and eat ice cream. We were going to be very silly. We were not going to think about tomorrow. And there was going to be a delivery, and you were going to say, "Are you expecting something?" And I was going to say, "I don't think so," and then I would open the box and clobber you with a sand-filled pillow, and you couldn't even be mad because it would be so funny. It was going to be a celebration."

"You are insane."

"I'm in love with you."

"We're breaking up."

"But you promised."