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Orchestra Music
by Tony R. Lindsay

Welcome to the third monthly meeting of the Greater Greensboro Men for Media Decency. I’m Reverend Jimmy Joe Swigit. We thank the Lord for this big crowd tonight.

Margie and I used to love to go to the movies. Films were about action and romance. We were intrigued when the hero and his lovely co-star came to a moment of intimacy. Violin music flooded our ears and the camera panned up to the sky. A crescendo of orchestra music culminated with a clash of cymbals. The audience took a collective breath and a long drawn-out AHHH.

My sweet Margie and I went to so many movies when we were courting that we expected to hear violins on our honeymoon. But, hey, that’s enough about me. We’re here tonight to bring decency back to the theater, television and the printed word. Somebody say amen.

“Amen, Brother Swigit.”

Movies used to be romantic, uplifting, and almost spiritual. Today, we must bear witness to every thrust. In days gone by, the heroine would coo in a soft voice, “Do you love me?” Now she asks, “Do you have protection? There are some blue ones on the desk. I got a few green ones, and a couple of those funny-type ones.”

The starlet used to look longingly into her lover’s eyes. “I want the moment to last forever.” Nowadays she says, “Hope you don’t mind of we step on it. I’ve got a manicure in twelve minutes and it’s a block away.”

I remember when the camera zoomed in for a close-up of Grace Kelly’s delicate ear as she dabbed on expensive French perfume. Today, if the camera were close to her ear, her foot would obstruct the view. I tell you it’s disgusting. I’m appalled every time I watch it.

We’re here tonight to abolish filth. Every man who wants to put an end to explicit movies and television and get back to the days of orchestra music--please stand up.

I said stand up.

I said get on your feet.

Come on guys, somebody stand up.