by Tony R. Lindsay
Gusztau Szolossi, has been in Philadelphia for
three months. But, theres a problem.
it going, Gus?
vine. Vree months and no nogaswampen.
surprised. Look at you. You got all the muscles
of a snail. You would sissify a tulip. American
girls want he-men. Theyre crazy about
cowboys and bad-ass bikers.
could vide a bike. Vaybe could vide a horse.
a shot, Gus. Learn to ride a horse and you
might find a cowgirl. Those girls know how to
ride. Know what I mean? A cowgirl can make a man
glad he was ever born.
with no nogaswampen and Gus books a five-day
stint at Rip Seamans Ranch about an
hours drive outside of Dry Gulch, Wyoming.
partner. Whats your name?
My names Rip, and this heres Thumper.
A mighty fine hunk of horseflesh he is.
vig. Dont vant to go var.
Thumper is a big boy, and twenty mile is
all you need. Its rough country. All
you got to remember is Go if you want
to go faster and Whoa if you want to
go slower. You got it, Gus?
vot it, Vip.
Thumper a slap on the rump, Off with you,
forward and Gus looks as if he might throw up.
His eyes bulge. Voh!
Voh sounds a lot like Go
and Thumper moves up a gear.
gyakorolhasse, voh! (Whoa, asshole,
nemcsak szakembert. (Hay-burning bastard.)
ya voh, ya voh, termeszeben egyszerre
genek. (Something about a gluepot.)
sprints into top gear.
termesztesbe figyelmeztettek mengeljenek.
(A brief impolite reference to questionable
Gus drops the
reins and holds onto the saddle horn with both
ugyarakkor. (Do-do brain.)
szervezetukon ulselen. (Unkind words about
across terrain that would challenge a mountain
novenyek ennek vagyis engedeesekor. (it
seems Thumpers grandmother was a horse
splashes through a shallow creek and charges up a
Magyar rovined aszamitasok az gagyobb lakeossagi. (Gus
complains bitterly about his testicular
discomfort and shouts his plans for a slow-motion
surgical procedure that will have Thumper
whinnying in soprano and strutting like a mare.)
Gus hangs on
for his life until Thumper finally turns for the
barn and pulls up in front of a bale of hay.
At last, the
shattered Hungarian with battered balls has both
feet on the ground.
it go, partner?
Hungry. Kotelozi nogaswampen megmondani
hanem nemcsak arra talen valemivel. (Going
back to Hungry. Plenty nogaswampen, and you
dont have to ride a dragons ass into
Hell to get it.)