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La Señora
by Arturo Gutierrez

Lt. Bell arrived at a scene he had never witnessed before. A green Civic parked halfway inside a living room. He walked through the debris towards the driver’s side window where an old Mexican lady sat there, gripping onto her cane.

“This shifter isn’t working again. I have it in reverse and nothing,” the lady mumbled, shifting her cane back and forth. “Pinche mecánico, sirven para nada.”  

“Ma-am, are you alright? An ambulance is on its way,” Bell said, tapping on the window unable to get the ladies' attention. 

“We’re all hurt to some extent,” Jason said. Bell looked over, shocked to see two men inside. “Nothing serious just bumps and bruises.”

“Were you hit by the car?” Bell asked.

“Worse,” Kenny said, covering his nose with a rag doused in blood. “You ever been hit with a cane before?”

“I don’t understand,”

“La señora happened.”

Bell walked off the demolished cement and shattered glass towards the two men. The sirens sound near.

“Before we say anything know that this a family matter. Please put the notepad away.” There was a momentary silence until the Lt. Bell conceded. “So our mom failed her eye exam so her license is getting revoked. Calming her down didn’t work.”

“Pinche cabrones que no piensan de tu madre,” Kenny said in a loud raspy voice.

“Sorry I don’t speak any Spanish.”

“We’re ungrateful bastards who don’t think about our mother,” Jason translated.          

 “She sounds like a sweetheart,” Lt. Bell said.

“Only the most ruthless sweetheart you’ll ever meet,” Kenny said smiling, dried up blood on his teeth. 

“She asked us how we expected her to get around. ‘How am I supposed to take my dog to the vet tomorrow?’ Not realizing she was petting my son.” Jason said.

Lt. Bell covered his mouth to hide the laughter from both men.

“Nana, I’m not a dog’ Jason yelled at her. I don’t think this was the first time Mom’s mixed the two up.” 

“Oh no.” Kenny pointed to the car. Their mother sound asleep with the cane still in hand. The ambulance arrived, yet they all heard her snore over the sound of the siren. “This is the perfect time to steal the keys. As much as I’d to file a restraining order, are we done officer?”

“Just protect yourselves from that cane when you get her inside. Board this hole up when you’re done,” Lt. Bell said. He pulled a business card from his wallet. “My brother will give you a good price on some sheets of wood.” Lt. Bell continued to look back as he walked to his patrol car, watching as the two men carry their mother out of the car from inside the house. He couldn’t help but smile. As he drove off he made a phone call.

“Hey mom, it’s your son. I just left the craziest call of my life. It made me think of something you would have done.”