Justice is
Served
by Amanda LaPera
“Jebediah?”
A tall, lanky
blonde-haired fellow saunters forth. He
approaches the bailiff, a gray-headed man with a
taste for good food.
“Are you
Jebediah Moses Christian?”
“Yes, but
I’m Jewish.” Jeb jokes, attempting to
lighten the mood.
“I
didn’t ask.”
“Then I
won’t tell.” He winks.
The bailiff
pauses for a moment and lowers his voice.
“We break for lunch at noon.”
“Would
that mean I win my case?”
“It can
be continued.”
Jebediah
scowls at the unsavory selection in uniform.
“I’ll wait and take my chances with the
judge.”
“Your
loss.” The bailiff shrugs his shoulders and
continues to check off names.
Jeb rests back
in a chair, enthralled by the cases before him;
it’s like free entertainment. If only he had
a bag of popcorn.
“See, is
like this, yo’ honor. Me and Jaz here, we
was just hanging out at the park, ya’ know,
minding our own business and shit.”
Jeb raises his
eyebrows and watches the judge’s reaction.
The judge appears amused and allows the defendant
to continue.
“So, yeah,
and then a cop comes up and starts accusing us of
shit. He ain’t got nothing on me.”
“He did
find a couple of ounces on your person.”
“Oh, yeah,
well about that. I ain’t no dealer, ya’
know. My homie, damn clown, had me holdin’
on to his shit, while he was playing some hoops.”
Another hour
passes by before Jeb’s case is called. He
struts up to the defendant’s table and rests
his hands on his hips. The judge announces the
charges against Jeb and stares at him expectantly.
Jeb shifts his
weight and runs his hand through his hair. He
recites his lines. “It was really a big
misunderstanding, your honor. As I was leaving
work that day—”
“—and
where do you work?”
“At Steel
Rods Tavern.”
Surprised, she
asks, “Isn’t that a gay strip club?”
“Yes,
your honor.” And it’s a classy joint,
he wants to add, but decides not to. “So, as
I was leaving work, I was tired from a long shaft,
I mean shift.” He blushes. “I was going
to go meet my BFF, you know, best female friend,
for dinner. I swear I had no idea that my fly was
down. Then I passed by the coffee shop, when
through the window, I saw that cute barista wink
at me from behind the counter. Naturally, my body
reacted. A few women were walking across the
cross-walk right in front of me. So, bam, they
scream, and I’m here being charged with
indecent exposure.” The court room falls
incredibly silent.
The judge
bites her lip. “Alright, Jebediah. I’ll
throw this out, but you really need to be more
careful.”
Jeb squeals.
“Oh my gosh, thank you so much, your honor.”
After he picks
up his court paperwork from the bailiff and heads
out into the hallway, he notices a post-it note
from the bailiff who had scribbled his number and
wrote: Call me if you’re ever in another
bind. Beneath that was a photo labeled as
evidence. Apparently, a witness shot it from a
cell phone camera.
Jeb smirks.
Now he knows what he will tip that barista
tomorrow.
As the cop arrests him, Jeb reconsiders the
bailiff’s offer; after all, he did have a
nice smile.
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