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Her Ladyship Goes to the Vet
by Katie O'Brian-Robles

It's time for rescued doberman, Sofia's six month thyroid check. Off we go to the vet, me behind the wheel of the Z, her curled up like a cocktail shrimp beside me. Traversing the beautiful coastline to Ensenada is always a special treat for both of us.

Sofia likes Dr. Olvera. He always takes the time to greet her, pet her and pay her the required homage fitting for HRM.

All was going well til it was time to weigh in. She stepped sedately onto the scales... then it all started going downhill.

85.5 pounds!!!

"Ah Mio Dios," hisses Dr. Olvera. "La Perra es mui gordo." 

Oh-oh, as you might know Sofia is extremely sensitive about her weight.. We've on occasion referred to her as... perhaps.... rubenesque... large framed or maybe even full figured but never ever has she heard the "F" word.

"Let's get her on the exam table and see what's going on."

With that, she became spread eagled and velcroed herself to the floor.

The good doctor called in two more techs who had the audacity to touch her royal personage without permission, and a full blown snit ensued.. she squirmed like a python, her toes became like cat's claws as she curled them around and clutched the edges of the cold metal table. She shut her eyes as tight as she could at the approaching hypodermic needle to draw a few drops of her imperial blood.

"Listo.. we're all done. Adios. I'll call with the results."

With that she made a beeline to the front door, goosing one of the techs on the way out.. jumped into her seat in my car and stared, no, glared out the window the entire way home. Once here, she refused to get out of the car.. sat on MY side for a full half hour, sulking and muttering something in Doberese about 'scales being wrong and of course she couldnt' weigh that much and even if she did it was all puppy fat anyway.'

Finally when we got her to join us in the house, she shredded her bed and tossed the stuffing all about the back yard..

The Grand Dame was truly piss-ed.. Thank goodness we don't have to do this again for another six months.