That Your Husband Is Thinking Of Voting
by Roz Warren
and Janet Golden
the check out line, you see plenty of magazines
offering stories like What He Isnt
Telling You and How to Tell if Your Man Is
Cheating. But in todays crazy world
it isnt enough to know whether your partner
is stepping out with another woman, or if he
secretly wants to go to the playoffs with the
guys instead of to that wedding weekend for your
sister-in-laws first cousin. What you
really need to know are:
signs that your husband is thinking of voting
Palins Alaska is the first item in
his Netflix queue, and the next twenty items are
all movies starring Mel Gibson or Charlton Heston.
2) The words
Book of Mormon are jotted down on a
notepad by his side of the bed -- and he hates
3) In the
throes of passion, instead of calling out your
name, he calls for tax cuts.
4) He wants to
name the new puppy Mitt.
5) His wallet
is stuffed with Godfathers Pizza receipts.
started singing John Ashcrofts Let
the Eagle Soar in the shower.
7) A post-it
by the computer reads Google Ricksantorum.com,
NOT Rick Santorum.
8) He tells
your teenaged son, Ron Paul supports the
legalization of marijuana -- so lets toke
Governor Christie pulls out of the race, he
spends the afternoon crying at the donut shop.
Tears are the new macho, he explains
between sobs. John Boehner gets weepy too,
so its okay.
Bachman and Sarah Palin are on the MILF list
hidden in his sock drawer.
11) He asks if
the task of changing the babys diapers can
be sent off-shore.
12) When your
daughter brings her friends home from elementary
school, he demands to see documentation that
theyre in this country legally.
Theres an ASK ME ABOUT GLENN BECK bumper
sticker on his car.
14) He mutters,
as he hogs all the covers, that sharing the
blankets is part of a socialist agenda.
15) You find a
Tri-corner hat hidden in the back of his closet
AND the giant box of teabags you bought at the
supermarket last week have gone missing.
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