The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Cookie Jar
by Zach Smith

His hand had been in the cookie jar; this point must be made clear. There were fewer cookies in the cookie jar than there had been earlier in the day, and no one had been in the kitchen except him. He also had cookie crumbs on his face. The most overwhelming evidence was that his hand was still in the cookie jar, and he was eating the cookies even as we spoke.

“Hey, those were my cookies,” I said. “I was going to give them to a friend.”

“I didn’t touch them,” he calmly replied.

“Yes you did, your eating them now.”

“No I’m not,” he said as he ate another. “And besides what makes them yours?”

“I made them.”

“No you didn’t, I did,” he said.

“I made them yesterday when you weren’t here.”

“Why would you just give these cookies to a friend? If you gave them directly to me then all three of us would have more cookies, than this jar could hold.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said.

“You know the problem is eventually you’ll run out of other peoples cookies to give away.”

“But these are my cookies, and you’re the only one eating them.”

“Look, I need these cookies to build up my strength to protect you.”

“Protect me from what?” I asked.

“From other people eating your cookies,” he calmly replied.

“But that’s you, you’re the only one eating them.”

“No I’m not,” he said, while cookie crumbs fell from his mouth.

“Okay, I don’t even understand what you’re talking about any more, but I won’t say anything else because I don’t want to offend you. Can I at least get a cookie?”

“All gone,” he said tipping the jar to show that there was not a single cookie left.

“You ate all my cookies?” I asked.

“Nope, you ate all the cookies.” he said. Then he left the kitchen, with a small pile of cookie crumbs for me to clean up.

“I’m not cleaning this mess up!” I yelled, but he was not around to hear me, and it didn’t really matter because I cleaned it up like I always do.