by Erin Theisen
thing I notice when I wake up, before I even open
my eyes, is that its sunny. I squeeze my
eyes shut to see if that fixes the problem, but
it doesnt. All it does is alert me to the
headache resting somewhere behind my eyes.
I open my eyes
and narrow them at my offending window. My blinds
are flush up against the top of the window frame.
I never forget to put my blinds down before I
sleep. For this reason. Morning sun isnt
kind to light sleepers. Or to those who had a few
too many the night before.
I roll over
and groan, and notice that the other side of my
bed is rumpled and smells suspiciously of crisp
cologne and perspiration. Sandalwood and sweat.
I roll over
again and my cell rings. Its absurdly loud
for this hour of the morning, and my custom ring
tone which I shelled out $2 for
sounds like bleating sheep. I knock it off the
nightstand instead of grabbing it, and then lurch
down to snatch it from the floor. Bad idea. I
wind up falling out of bed and swear before I
flip open the phone.
I say rudely, because I saw the caller ID and
know Tammy wont mind.
sunshine. Howd you sleep?
Theres a little giggle in her voice and I
know shes mocking me.
good huh? she says, and I realize I
didnt answer out loud.
Well, you left your camera over here last night.
I think Ryan stole it and took some pictures.
Theres some really special ones of
youll see when you get it back.
happened? Flashes of Tammys party
come back to me. A going away party for one of
our mutual friends, which included lots of
friends who werent so mutual.
Pete hit it off.
explained the cologne. But where was Pete, if we
got along so well?
Hes a douche. I meant to tell you but
youd already left.
Who invited him then? I manage to get to my
feet and stumble across the stained carpet in my
bedroom, the padding of which has long since
disintegrated. No sounds of life from the rest of
the apartment beyond the door. I skulk around
like Im afraid of someone I
dont know who jumping out with a
friend of a friend. Wanna get lunch? I can bring
Ive already forgotten about the camera.
Almost forgot about the phone, too.
you know, that meal people eat halfway between
waking up and collapsing.
skip to the collapsing, I say as I round
the corner into my kitchen.
Usual place at noon?
looks wrong. A cupboard is ajar, and theres
a half-eaten bowl of Cheerios on the table. The
rest of the box is tipped over and dotted with
Son of a
Tammy says, confused.
seduced me, ate my food, and then left a mess.
never going to one of your parties again.