The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

Chaired Revenge
by Lata Vijaybaskar

“She’ll come in. Touch the silk. Smile dreamily may be? Quickly dart a look around. Notice me. Scurry away. My score 11, theirs 0.”

Today started out like Chinese torture, but is slowly unfolding in very interesting and unexplored directions. I am here shopping with my girlfriend, well she is doing the shopping part and I’m doing the going mad as I’m bored, irritated and annoyed part.

My feet are killing me and Shilpa armed with, let’s make that covered with clothes, asks “Honey, is this looking nice? Or this one?”

“They look fat,” I growled in annoyance.

“Thanks sweetie,” she croons at me indulgently and asks the sales girl to pack before entering the jungle to look for more. Only she considers this a treasure hunt.

A lone chair at the store beckoned my aching feet. Ah! Now its only boring, not painful.

As I prepared to wait a long time, I saw a very good-looking brunette walk in. Oh! I was sure those glints in her hair were as real as the plastic plant potted next to my chair, but her long legs sheathed in sheer black tights were definitely very very real and mouthwatering.

That’s when she noticed me. Smiled self consciously and moved away. How I hoped Shipa shopped that fast. But hey! She didn’t buy anything.

So I was left alone once again. Now another good looking, style oozing, hot young thing walked in; looked at the racks of clothes, touched a few of the silk and satin, noticed me, gave a smile and walked away. Only then did it dawn on me – I was sitting on a chair next to the ladies lingerie section. The ladies apparently wanted privacy while shopping and did not like my intrusive presence. So I decided to move, but then I thought this was my one revenge at the shopaholic womanhood so I stayed on.

Oh wow! How I loved watching the girls with dreamy looks at the merchandise quickly change to self conscious smiles and move on.

Revenge tastes better served cold.