Advice For
Aspiring Writers
by Roz Warren
Published
writers will tell you that the most important
thing you can do as a beginning writer is to know
your markets! So this month, we’ll talk
about two of the markets open to you and your
riveting but as yet unpublished prose -- Fling
Magazine and Clubhouse Magazine. Fling describes
itself as “a sex-type publication for young
males 18 - 34 who like photos of very busty young
models.” What kind of writing does Fling
need? “Material dealing with sex in
combination with busty females.” And what
advice do the editors have for the beginning
writer who wishes to write for their publication,
which reaches 100,000 boob-fanciers monthly?
“Fling needs a lot of emphasis on
descriptions of female characters, particularly
‘big bosom’ descriptions.” Got
that? Hit that keyboard -- let’s see what
you’ve got to say about girls with large
glands and the guys who adore them!
Similarly,
there’s Clubhouse -- a “Christian
magazine designed to help young people feel good
about themselves.” The editors state that
their primary goal “is to let young readers
know there is a God and that He loves kids.”
Clubhouse reaches 15,000 Christian Youngsters (aged
9 - 14) monthly. What advice do the editors offer
the aspiring writer about their magazine’s
likes and dislikes? “No Christmas stories
that refer to Santa, elves, reindeer, etc.”
they say. Sounds straightforward enough.
Since these
magazines have a lot in common (for example,
neither is interested in elves) my advice is to
target one story to the both of them. This way,
if one mag doesn’t leap at the chance to
publish your prose, the other undoubtedly will.
Your goal -- let your readers know there is a God
and that He loves kids and women with large
bazoomas. (And men who love women with large
bazoomas.) You could make it a Christmas story,
perhaps about a kid (9-14 years old) and his (18
- 34 year old) dad who wake up on Christmas
morning to find a busty broad in their Christmas
stocking. “Gee thanks, God!” they
exclaim. Just remember not to mention Santa,
reindeer, etc.
Next month:
The Atlantic Salmon Journal and The Atlantic
Monthly.
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