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Two Old Cops Arguing
by Michael C. Keith

One says to the other . . .

“We were close friends. I never thought you’d do what you did.”

“Obviously I never should have told you. I thought after all these years . . .”

“What? That I’d be less upset? That I would have come to terms with it?”

“It’s been over three decades. I’m really surprised you still feel so strongly about it.”

“Of course, I still feel strongly about it. It was very important to me.”

“Wow, I guess it was. I’m amazed. I never thought you’d react this way.”

“That’s because you lack the ability to feel guilt.”

“Look, what do you want me to do, for God’s sake?”

“If I have to tell you, then it’s not worth the bother.”

“So you think what I did was that terrible?”

“Damn right, it was that terrible.”

“C’mon. We all experience temptation. It was just a . . .”

“Just a . . . what?”

“Hey, no one’s perfect. Are you?”

“It doesn’t have to do with being perfect. It has to do with honor and integrity.”

“Can’t you just put it behind you once and for all?”

“Easier said than done, pal.”

“All this because of a silly . . .?”

“What if I’d done it to you? How would you feel?”

“Not as freaked out as you are about it. “

“Of course not. I have a conscience. You clearly lack one.”

“Stop! I give up. I’m a terrible person. How can I make amends?”

“At the very least, you might show some remorse.”

“You want me to show remorse?”

“Yes, that’s what I’d like you to do.”

“Okay . . . okay! I’m sorry I took the last doughnut.”

“You could say it with more feeling.”

“Stay put while I get my service revolver.”