by Michael C.
life seriously? Youll never get out of it
Back when Avery Mandel was feeling really low, he
designated a date when he would take his life if
things didnt improve. Unfortunately they
hadnt by the time the date arrived, but he
couldnt bring himself to end his life. His
finger froze on the guns trigger as he held
the barrel in his mouth, and after several
minutes he gave up on the idea . . . for the
same afternoon, Avery decided on another date to
kill himselfthis one a month hence.
However, when that date arrived, he still couldnt
do it. Goddamn it, you pathetic coward. You
dont want to live, but you havent got
the gumption to take action to change things,
he thought, feeling more depressed than ever.
This went on
for months until Avery reached the breaking point.
definitely do it on the 31st of
December, my birthday, he decided and
marked that date on the calendar.
On the first
day of his 39th year, he rose and went
to his desk where he stored his 38-caliber
it. Im really going to do it this time.
Life is just a misery, and I cant take it
anymore, he mumbled, placing the gun to his
temple. Its now or never, Avery.
Things are never going to get better for me . . .
not if I live to be a hundred.
the trigger, but nothing happened. He dropped to
his knees gasping for air and trembling. Oh,
my God! Im not dead, he thought, and
then realized he had not loaded the gun.
Son of a
bitch, Im screwed now! he cried,
dropping his pistol. I dont have a