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Tastes Like
by Michael C. Keith

Mable Hauser went to the grocery store to do her weekly shopping. When she got there she realized she’d left her list at home. Rather than make the trip back to get it, she figured she’d be able to reconstruct it as she went up and down the isles.

The first isle contained International foods, and while she never stopped there, this time she figured she’d check it out. Halfway up the isle she saw an item that caught her eye. Headcheese . . . yes, she thought. Cheese was on the list, so she put the package into her cart.

Next she came across something called Mountain Oysters. My husband loves the shellfish at restaurants. I’ll get these for him. A special treat, Mable decided, placing the can next to the headcheese.

As she reached the end of the International food isle, one last thing caused her to stop because it struck her as particularly interesting. Looks like a crispy pasta. Hmm . . . “Cambodian delicacy,” it says. I’ll make a real exotic dinner for Charlie. He’ll never expect that, she thought, carefully setting the packet beside the headcheese and mountain oysters.

The idea of preparing a unique meal for her husband so excited Mable that she decided to cut her shopping short so she could get back home to ready the special feast. At the dining room table, she unveiled her innovative repast with great ceremony.

Ta-da! You always say I feed you the same old thing. So I decided to give you something very different.”

Starving, her husband enthusiastically dug into the three plates before him.

“Wow, this is delicious. What is it?” asked her husband.

“Goat skull, sheep balls, and spider legs,” she answered, having Googled the foods when she returned home.

Her husband stared at her in disbelief. After a long pause, he finally he spoke.

“Jeez, honey, the sheep balls are especially tasty.”