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Space Pods Attack Manhatten
by Dan Marvin

“They are definitely from outer space,” said Doctor Breshnov as he reviewed the close-up photographs taken by the high-res cameras aboard the Air Force surveillance plane.  “See how they hover without a propulsion system?  And the spectrographic analysis shows this to be an alloy with which we are completely unfamiliar.”

“So we’ve determined they’re from outer space, what do they want?” asked General Stevenson. “Do we need to nuke ‘em?”

“I think we should wait until they make an aggressive move, General.” The doctor replied. The control room was still as they monitored the situation unfolding nearby.

In Times Square, a stunned population looked at the pods suspended motionless over the city. Gasps were heard below as the spheres began to unfold. Soon the sky over Manhattan was completely covered with a silvery mesh. A humming noise could be heard and then the silvery mesh was covered with an image.

“People of earth,” boomed a voice as images began to flit across the screen. “You can have flatter abs in as little as 6 minutes a day. This miracle machine makes kitchen chores a thing of the past. Your laundry will be whiter and your clothes will smell fresher. I went from a size 20 to a size 6 in two weeks and so can you. This great offer can you be yours today for 6 easy payments of $39.95. But wait, that’s not all…”

In the command center, General Stevenson gave the orders. “Get those birds in the air and let’s chase these spammers back to planet X.” Immediately the skies over the city were filled with the whine of air force jets and the screen was torn to shreds.

Inside the lead spacecraft, Xlefurge turned to Bliporg. “I don’t understand, we have been intercepting their electronic signals for years. This message was specifically tailored to make them happy. Where did we go wrong?”

Bliporg flailed his appendages disgustedly. “Some people just don’t understand a good deal when they see one.”

With that, the spacecraft disappeared from view. The people of earth celebrated briefly, then went to watch the coverage on CNN.