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Sign Off
by Michael C. Keith

“Please sign the register, monsieur.”


No, monsieur, sign the register.

“I just did.”

“No you didn’t, monsieur.”

“Of course, I did. What do you call that?”

“Your printed name.”

“Exactly . . . my signature.”

“That’s not a signature, monsieur.”

“It’s my name written by me.”

“A printed name is not a signature.”

“Huh? It’s my hand writing.”

“It’s your hand printing, monsieur.”

“Then what do you want from me?”

“Your name written in cursive.”

“Why would I write my name in curses?”

“No, no, monsieur . . . cursive.”

“Show me what you mean.”

“Of course. Here you are.”

“That’s curses? It’s running all together. How could anyone read that?”

“Someone with a proper education, perhaps?”

“I had a proper education, and they didn’t teach me to write like that?”

“Monsieur? You don’t under . . .”

“No, you don’t understand because you write in scribbles.”

“If you don’t sign in cursive, you’ll have to go elsewhere.”

“Okay . . . okay . . . I’ll write in curses. How’s this: ‘F.U.C.K Y.O.U!’”

Ah, . . . you must be an American.”