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by Wayne Carlan

A couple of years ago me and a friend, let’s call him, Jeff Oalmann, took a road trip to Tennessee. He and his wife had been thinking about maybe moving up there, so Jeff and I went to scout out the area and check out some homes for sale. On the way home Jeff is driving and I doze off. Nothing like a good quiet nap on a long road trip, but I should have known better. I guess Jeff got tired of listening to me snore and he probably wanted someone to talk to so he’s trying to think of a plan to subtly wake me up. You think he thought about saying “hey Wayne, you awake?” Heck no!

Well with great timing, he sees his opportunity. There is this tow truck hauling an eighteen wheeler cab down the interstate in front of us. He’s hauling it backwards so when you get right behind it – what you see is the front of the truck. So Genius (that would be Jeff) pulls as close to this truck as he possibly can, then lets out this blood curdling scream. My eyes pop open and wouldn’t you know it. I’m about to die in 1.5 seconds. All I can see is the front of this big Mack truck coming straight for us. My life flashed before my eyes as my arms cover my face. I scream like a twelve year old little girl and that’s when I realize, I need a new pair of drawers.

Wait a minute, how come we haven’t crashed yet? Why am I still alive? WHY IS JEFF LAUGHING HIS BUTT OFF? That was just plain ‘ole wrong. Now… I’m all about a good joke but daaaang! Needless to say Jeff had someone to talk to for the next seven hours. I even tried to talk him into letting me drive the rest of the way home but no can do. That’s ok, just gives me plenty of time to start plotting on him. Sleep with one eye open Jeff… I’m just sayin’.