On Being
Invisible
by Mike Close
Being
invisible is really a blast most of the time. You
can go places and see things that many people
don’t get to. There are pitfalls as well,
and there are no schools for how to be invisible.
Once you find you have this…talent…learning
how to use it can sometimes be a challenge. I
hope these lessons will help you in some small
way.
The first time
it happened to me, I came down stairs to show my
Mom. I was still wearing my clothes. I was 14 at
the time and not thinking things completely
through.
“Mom!
Look, I’m invisible!”
Next thing I
know, she’s passed out on the floor in a
dead faint. All she saw was an empty set of
clothes standing there with my voice coming from
that general direction. I felt so bad that I had
scared her like that.
Lesson one
– If you are going to be invisible, do it
naked, keep your mouth shut, and control bodily
noises. This saves a lot of embarrassing
questions.
Lesson two
– Make sure you empty your bladder before
you sneak on a plane. There is absolutely no room
in an air plane toilet for more than one person.
Talk about embarrassing! When the door opens and
that hefty woman steps in, there is no place to
go! You can’t even squeeze past her (Voice
of experience here. Yeah. Listen to me now,
believe me later). This led to many screams and a
wild cabin search but ultimately, they just
thought she was a bit high strung, to put it
mildly.
Our last
lesson for today, Lesson three – No one can
see you, except other invisibles. That’s
right. They can see you, and you can see them.
That whole ‘being naked’ thing is
sinking in, right? It’s fine being naked
when no one can see you, but, if there are others
who can see you…naked, and you can see
them…naked, well, that changes the whole
dynamic doesn’t it? Even when you are not
invisible, you can still see other invisibles
around you, if they are there. And they can tell
you are one of them, as they see a slight bluish
glow about you when you are not invisible. You
will have clothes on, most likely and they, of
course are naked. This is just something you have
to get used to. It does no good to avert your
eyes, you’re going to see it anyway. They
are dealing with the same unpleasantness looking
at you when you are invisible, so you have a
choice. Exercise and lose some weight so you are
not unpleasant to look at, or get really happy
with the skin you’re in and they can all go
take a flying leap if they can’t handle the
truth! Of course, I took the latter option. Hope
you can handle the truth!
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