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THE DR. PHILBILLY SHOW - Mr. X And The Poodle Dog
by Wayne Carlan

This one Friday I was on my way home from work. It had been a long day and I just couldn’t wait to get there so I could unwind a little bit. As I was getting close to home I was driving past a neighbor’s house that we are friends with. I will have to refer to him as “Mr. X” due to the fact that he threatened to kill me in my sleep if I mentioned his name in this story. Anyway, as I was passing by, his 8 year old little girl was in the front yard and she started screaming, “Help Mr. Wayne, Daddy is going to kill my poodle dog. He’s going to kill my poodle dog, please help me!”

What the heck is going on here? I slammed on my brakes and whipped into the driveway. As I got out of the car I noticed the front door to the house was wide open and I heard some awful noises coming from inside. There was yelling, screaming and furniture being knocked over. I was just about to run inside when all of a sudden, their little poodle dog came running out of the house with “Mr. X” hot on his tail.

Now there was something very strange looking about the both of them but I couldn’t quite make out what it was because things were happening so fast. Then “Mr. X” yells to me “catch that dang dog, Wayne, before he eats my ……”, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I finally caught the dog and held it up, looking at it in the face smiling. The dog was smiling back at me. What the heck?

I stare a little longer and then it hit me. Oh my gosh! I fell out laughing so hard I couldn’t catch my breath.. Apparently this sweet little poodle dog had jumped up on the couch and took “Mr. X’s” false teeth off the end table. They were positioned in its mouth just perfect and it looked like he was smiling at me with human teeth. That was the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life!

Then I realized, I have never seen “Mr. X” without his false teeth in. I have never heard him talk without his false teeth in. Craaaap! I didn’t even know he had false teeth. I’m laughing so hard I think I’m going be sick. He takes the teeth from the dog, rinses them off with the water hose and pops them in his mouth. Uggh! Now I know I’m going be sick. Daaaaang! I have to stop by here more often. I’m just sayin.’