Letter to a
Country Music Station Seeking Funny Guests
by William D. Hicks
I heard you on
the radio and Id love to be part of your
show. Whereas I love country music and Im a
as well as being pretty
humorous in person
this is the reason I
think you should LET me be on your show.
Let me list
I am funnyyou are funny. But I know when to
shut up so you can be funny! But do YOU know when??
Just kidding, I love your show. And anybody
elses show that might let me be on it.
Please forward this letter to them.
You are a manI am a man. nough said!
Men are better than women
except giving birth, handling money, and well
lets be honest about this, putting on
makeup while theyre driving.
I will be discovered on your show
Well, at least there are lots of things people
will discover about me
I wont mention the brand of Clinique I use
in MY rearview mirror (I had to test out #3 above
didnt I?). Being famous has its
benefitsor did you think John & Kate
Plus Eight did if for the money?
I love country music
well, not as much as
those groupies that follow Tim McGraw around
trying to test his marriage, his faith and
.Faith. Good thing she knows how to
handle a double barreled sawed-off shotgun.
I am a late night person
so I can stay up
that late. Plus, with what I have to say
youd better be 18 years of age or older to
.GoX Dam* It! (expletives deleted
for the reading audience!)
And those are
the six rules to dating me
me. As I am funnyyou are funny.