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Last Night
by Shonna Gillis

“I gotta have a cigarette for this story.”

“Ok, well just hurry up and go buy a pack,” I say.

Brandon comes out smacking his pack and asks “When’s the last time you saw me last night? Well anyways, did I seem really fucked up?”

“Yeah, you were fucked up, but you’re always fucked up, but I wasn’t really paying attention, I was talking to some guy at the bar. I remember you running up to me and calling me your favorite slut.”


“Yes, really. So what happened? First you tell me you have to tell me in person, then you say you have to have a cigarette. You have your cigarette, what happened?”

“Well, I’m not really sure. I think someone slipped something into my drink.”

“Brandon, why would a girl slip something into your drink?”

“I dunno, but I couldn’t have been that fucked up.”

“So, tell me what happened.”

“So…and this is just from what I remember after seriously thinking about it all day. Okay, so we leave the bar and I have my bike, ya know? So I guess they carry it home for me, well not home but back to their house, right? So they carry my bike upstairs to their apartment.” He takes a big drag. “Okay, so after that I think I just passed out on the floor as soon as we walk in.” He takes in a large drag, sucking on his cigarette, making it glow and darken like the change in a traffic light. “And the next thing I remember is one of the girls yelling at me telling me to get the fuck out, and telling me to leave or she’s gonna call the cops. So she takes my bike and throws it down the stairs and is pushing me out the door. This is at like four in the morning. I’m still really drunk, probably more drunk than I was when I got there. I put on my wheel backwards, ride it home half-way like that barely holding on to the handlebars. I get half-way before I realize the wheel is on backwards, so I fix it and somehow make it home."

“So why did she kick you out?”

“Well,” takes a last drag and puts out the cigarette, “I guess I peed all over her floor.”


“Yeah, I peed on her floor and now she has my favorite hat and my bike lock and won’t give them back.”

“Did you ask her?”

“Yeah, I called her earlier. That’s how I found out why she kicked me out.”

“Sounds like you were just really fucked up to me.”