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by Wayne Carlan

Ok…We have two Poodle dogs and my boys just got two new puppies. The Poodles are inside dogs so it’s been my job to let them out of the house first thing in the morning for a while now. Not sure how I got the job. I didn’t apply for it, but somehow it’s mine.. The two new dogs will be outside dogs but since they are puppies they are inside for the time being. This one morning, I stumble out of bed half asleep in my Tweety Bird Boxers and went to let the dogs out. I opened the door and they all ran out like a rocket.

It’s not even daylight yet and I haven’t turned on any lights. As I turn from the door and start back to bed for just a few more minutes of sleep before I wake completely up, I notice that one of the puppies didn’t go out. He’s just sitting there in the corner chillin’ out which is very unusual for any dog at 5 a.m. I call him and he don’t move, just sits there looking at me. So I sleep walk over to the lazy thing with one eye open and the other half closed and pick him up to bring him outside. I said “hey little fella, you‘ve put on a little weight.”

As I go to put him down my eyes begin to adjust and I realize I had picked up a daaaaang Opossum!!! What the heck? Son of a gun must have slept in the house and the dogs never even barked, not one time! They should have just called the daaang zoo and had a sleepover. Now, for you guys that just don’t get what I am saying, let me break it down for you. I Picked up a Opossum! Petted it! Talked to it! And took it out to pee! Craaaaaaaaaap! This day just got off to a real good start!