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Free Monster to a Good Home
by Jimmy Calabrese

Juan laughed as he posted an anonymous reply to the online classified ad: You can send one my way, I have a big backyard.

A few days later, when Juan backed his truck out of the garage, he discovered a gigantic 10 foot crate blocking the driveway. No markings or labels were on the crate. He talked to his neighbors, but nobody knew when or who delivered it.

Juan checked his e-mail and found a reply to his response to the classified ad: Thanks it's on its way.

Juan replied: Who are you? How do you know where I live? What the hell is in the crate you dropped off at my house? If you don't come and take this off my property, I'm calling the police.

When Juan didn't receive a response he called the cops. The policeman took the report, but advised Juan to just call the City to take the crate away.

Juan called the City and they could not accept such a large item for pick up. He would need to tear it apart.

It took some time, but when Juan finally pried open one side of the crate, a pile of what looked like large dinosaur bones spilled out. Juan laughed as he dragged the bones into his backyard. He called all his neighbors to help him piece together the skeleton.

“Juan, I don't think these bones are from just one dinosaur," a neighbor said. "These all look like brontosaurus legs."

"Whatever they are, I'm going to make some money off them," Juan said.

The next morning, while looking at a Web site about dinosaurs, his computer alerted him to an incoming e-mail message: Sorry to scare you, Juan. We are from a little island in the Caribbean. We found your address on the Internet, hope you don't mind. The monster will soon show up looking for his chew bones. Thanks for taking him off our--

Low-frequency tremors shook the house in a slow rhythmic pattern. Juan ran outside to look.

"I need a bigger backyard."