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Four More Poems
by G David Schwartz


Mona Mona Mona Moo

Mona Mona Mona moo
I do not wish to insult you
You're not a cow and your pretty too  
Sha ba sha ba sha ba doo 
Mona Mona Mona My
Who first said that 
It was sure not I
I call you sweet kind Susie Q.


I Never Saw A Ghost 

I never saw a ghost 
But that proves not  a thing  
I've never been to Puru
But it is, I believe 
I have seen a kite
But never seen the air
I always see my wife
Even when she's not here  


I Blew Out The Candles

I blew out the candles 
On my birthday cake
Then I dug in eating 
Till I got a belly ache 
Then after a bit
I went down to get 
Some ginger ail
Or some hyper-conduit 
I went to the doctor who told me
Eating candles is not ought to be 
So I promised him 
That I would do
absolutely anything that
he told me too 
And doctors have seances of humor 
He said "six hundred dollars ought cover the fee 
And nil I rescued for my eland 
he stood and stared at me.


Dogs Don't Grow From Seeds 

Dogs don't grown from seeds 
Cows don't grow like weeds 
Bats don't wade in water 
And cats do not have a father