PHILBILLY SHOW - Fishin' With Paw In Law
by Wayne Carlan
ago my father in law, lets call him Shot
Lee, and I went fishing in a Diamond Head bayou.
We were doing ok. Well, I was doing ok. Shot
always catches every dang fish in the water. He
says his secret is putting the hook in the
fishs mouth. Whatever!
hooks a big one that bends his rod almost in half.
He starts yelling at me to get the net, which I
did. Im hanging over the side of the boat
waiting for him to wrestle it to the top of the
water so I can scoop em up. The water
starts to churn and Im half way over the
boat. I start to scoop until this monster decides
to stare me down. It was a freakin
I whip out my
knife and start to cut the line until Shot yells
What the heck?
I know he aint thinking about keeping it is
he? I say Shot, there aint enough
room in this boat for me and a gator, so make
your choice. He says Give me the net.
Now we are
only about 20 feet from the bank but Im not
about to jump in the water with a dang gator so I
have to time this just right. Shot pulls the
gator in the boat and then theres a big
splash. He turns around and sees that Im
practically walking on water. Michael Phelps
would have never won this race. My feet look like
a motor boat hauling butt. Every time I feel a
branch or a log I let out a screech that even
makes the birds stop chirping. The water was so
cold but every few feet I feel a warm spot. Stop
peeing on your self is not that
I finally make
it to shore and I look back at the boat, dripping
wet with seaweed hanging off of me and there
stands Shot in the boat with a 3 foot gator under
his arm. He yells Wayne, where you going?
Its just a baby. I yell back
Yall have fun. Babies have mommas.
Im going to the truck!
I turn and
head off into the woods. Of course I get lost and
Shot is waiting on me at the truck by the time I
get there. I stop about 10 feet from the truck
and yell Wheres the gator? He
looks at me and yells back I let him go.
What?! Youve got to be kidding! As soon as
he gets me home, its definitely payback!
Im just sayin.