Bye-Bye Barbie
by Wanda Morrow-Clevenger
Hey Wanda,
I've thought it over and realized regular
emailing will be our best form of communication.
Good luck with your writing. ~Barb
A fruity blend
of green tea steeped in the souvenir Bubba Gump
mug Wanda's son purchased on his school trip to
Chicago. Printed on the back: “Dream but don't
quit your day job” served as reminder that
writing was her dream. Her colossal, arrogant
dream. She sipped, shooting poison daggers at
Barb's email. Answer the wing-nut or delete?
Barb was Wanda's
first email buddy after joining Writers Click 101,
stroking Wanda's ego until she purred like a
sassy cat. Amusing, since those first memoir
drafts were quite weak. Yet, Barb praised them
like a proud mommy. “My big girl made big
poo-poo in the big potty.”
Not much of a
writer, Barb made up for it with highfalutin.
Probably suffered from stratospheric nosebleeds.
But her request to remain friends the day she
left WC101 was endearing, the subtext involving
her unexplained loathing of another member
ignored. Writers were such prima donnas. Wanda
happily agreed, grinning like a goof. She now knew
someone who lived in Canada.
The
acquaintance turned into a regular date, minus
meal, movie, and make-out session. Every Sunday
morning Barbie Doll emailed Wanda: chitty chat
about family, weather, the boyfriend. Every
little thing but writing. Wanda chatted mostly
about writing, veering off to make the occasional
Northern Exposure comparison jokes.
“How are the moose burgers up there? Do you
people really rub noses so your lips don't freeze
together?”
Months later,
Barb's curiosity piqued. She asked to see the
piece Wanda wrote titled “Being on
Bottom” that everyone at her new writing
site was howling about. Wanda graciously copy-pasted
the irreverent manuscript, sat back, and waited
for Mommy to cuddle the kitty again.
Barb's
scathing attack–metaphor mess; sloppy
writing; beneath Wanda's talent–was not
acknowledged. Kitty cat's claws came out, though.
Meeooooowww.
Two days later
an apology in purple floral font was snubbed for
two days more. After Wanda grudgingly forgave,
they drifted apart–official end of honeymoon.
Wanda removed Barb's address from her contact
list. Click. Poof. Gone.
All was
ancient history until Barb found Wanda on
Facebook. Just saw your pic. Could it be wee
wanda? I haven’t checked my email in months
and months. Can we be facebook friends? Easier
for me to stay in contact this way. ~Barbie Doll
Much had
changed–new writing site, new circle of
friends, including the woman Barb abhorred from
WC101. Matter of fact, everything had changed
except for the fruity green tea in the Bubba Gump
mug. Wanda scowled at the message. Did she really
need whack-a-doodle back in her life? There was
already an overabundance of those at Editred.com.
A carefully
worded response and invite into Facebook was
rewarded with curtness. Indubitably, Barbie had
checked out Wanda's friend list, seen Alicia's
photo.
Wanda swallowed her tea, smiled wickedly, chose
delete. “Bye-bye, Barbie. Don't quit your
day job.”
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