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Bye-Bye Barbie
by Wanda Morrow-Clevenger

Hey Wanda, I've thought it over and realized regular emailing will be our best form of communication. Good luck with your writing. ~Barb

A fruity blend of green tea steeped in the souvenir Bubba Gump mug Wanda's son purchased on his school trip to Chicago. Printed on the back: “Dream but don't quit your day job” served as reminder that writing was her dream. Her colossal, arrogant dream. She sipped, shooting poison daggers at Barb's email. Answer the wing-nut or delete?

Barb was Wanda's first email buddy after joining Writers Click 101, stroking Wanda's ego until she purred like a sassy cat. Amusing, since those first memoir drafts were quite weak. Yet, Barb praised them like a proud mommy. “My big girl made big poo-poo in the big potty.”

Not much of a writer, Barb made up for it with highfalutin. Probably suffered from stratospheric nosebleeds. But her request to remain friends the day she left WC101 was endearing, the subtext involving her unexplained loathing of another member ignored. Writers were such prima donnas. Wanda happily agreed, grinning like a goof. She now knew someone who lived in Canada.

The acquaintance turned into a regular date, minus meal, movie, and make-out session. Every Sunday morning Barbie Doll emailed Wanda: chitty chat about family, weather, the boyfriend. Every little thing but writing. Wanda chatted mostly about writing, veering off to make the occasional Northern Exposure comparison jokes. “How are the moose burgers up there? Do you people really rub noses so your lips don't freeze together?”

Months later, Barb's curiosity piqued. She asked to see the piece Wanda wrote titled “Being on Bottom” that everyone at her new writing site was howling about. Wanda graciously copy-pasted the irreverent manuscript, sat back, and waited for Mommy to cuddle the kitty again.

Barb's scathing attack–metaphor mess; sloppy writing; beneath Wanda's talent–was not acknowledged. Kitty cat's claws came out, though. Meeooooowww.

Two days later an apology in purple floral font was snubbed for two days more. After Wanda grudgingly forgave, they drifted apart–official end of honeymoon. Wanda removed Barb's address from her contact list. Click. Poof. Gone.

All was ancient history until Barb found Wanda on Facebook. Just saw your pic. Could it be wee wanda? I haven’t checked my email in months and months. Can we be facebook friends? Easier for me to stay in contact this way. ~Barbie Doll

Much had changed–new writing site, new circle of friends, including the woman Barb abhorred from WC101. Matter of fact, everything had changed except for the fruity green tea in the Bubba Gump mug. Wanda scowled at the message. Did she really need whack-a-doodle back in her life? There was already an overabundance of those at

A carefully worded response and invite into Facebook was rewarded with curtness. Indubitably, Barbie had checked out Wanda's friend list, seen Alicia's photo.
Wanda swallowed her tea, smiled wickedly, chose delete. “Bye-bye, Barbie. Don't quit your day job.”