The Great
Protected Zombie
by Michael S.
Collins
Here comes
Jack. Look at him stagger our way. With his
decaying features, empty socket stare and
crumbling arm socket, he’s rather harmless
these days. Especially at his one street an hour
pace.
Jack is the
only zombie in the world. Confined to Britain now.
He’s too slow and conspicuous to get on a
plane these days. Too oozing to pass off as a
Passenger on one of the ships across the Channel.
Just stuck, wandering aimlessly throughout our
streets.
Hungry too.
Well, he’s hardly had a human to bite on in
the last few months. Everyone can see him coming.
If they can’t see him coming, they hear the
Anti-Jack alarm. It’s very difficult to get
eaten by a zombie these days. We’ve had the
best brains in the business working on it.
Can’t
kill him either. He’s protected these days,
by the RSPCA. Endangered creature, you know. Only
one left in existence.
Has to be
protected. Too many angry bigoted people.
Claiming he’s come from overseas. Well, he
did once. Coming over here, taking away our
wandering aimlessly murdering. That could have
been a job for a British zombie, if there ever
was such a thing.
Here comes
Jack. Walk this way. Do not stop to chit-chat
with the zombie. Do not add to his hordes.
Oh for
goodness sakes, I said DON’T add to his
hordes.
Ok, we now
have two zombies in Britain. Jack and Jill. Hey,
compared to some endangered animals, the zombie
population is positively booming.
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