Sussex Cyclists
by Charlie
Britten
Felicity loves
going biking with Charles and the children at the
weekend. They have the proper safety gear, of
course: helmets, knee pads, elbow pads,
fluorescent armbands, and a plastic wallet for
putting maps in which hangs round Charles’
neck. With the wind in their faces, they pedal
along the Brighton bus lanes, passing all the
supermarket traffic, to the farm shop where they
buy locally grown produce at exorbitant prices.
Then they cycle back home and put the fruit and
vegetables into the walk-in American-style fridge.
“Mummy,
do we have to have cabbage and parsnips again?”
After that,
it’s off to lunch at one of the pubs in the
South Downs – on the bikes again, naturally,
Felicity pointing out birds and plants in the
hedgerow. “You can see much more when
you’re not in the car.”
Charles
replies, “Yes, darling,” and
“That’s interesting, darling,”
while Rory and Toby discuss whether Daddy’s
car is faster than Oliver down-the-road’s
dad’s car.
Halfway up the
first hill, Toby decides that he’s too tired
to ride any further. “Come on, old chap,”
says Charles. “Exercise is good for you.
Did you know that one in ten six year olds is
obese?”
In the pub at
last, Charles and Felicity drink organic wine
from Sussex vineyards and Rory and Toby eat
cocktail sausages, made from ethically- reared
pigs, who have lived short but happy lives on the
Downs eating organic swill.
Back home in
the afternoon, Charles sprawls out on the leather
sofa and reads ‘The Guardian’ while
Felicity spends a happy hour with Elizabeth
David’s “Mediterranean Food” and
the half-bottle of Merlot they didn’t finish
last night. Eventually, she prepares a
complicated dish using organic polenta and whole
spices that looks and tastes like Yorkshire
pudding. As they sit down at the table,
Felicity shuts down the computer, “Because
appliances left on standby create more than four
million tonnes of extra carbon emissions in the
UK alone”.
“I
don’t feel hungry, Mummy,” says Rory.
“I
don’t feel hungry either,” says Toby.
“That’s
all right, boys.” As the childcare books say,
children will eat when they’re hungry.
“It’s
Gay Pride next week,” says Charles,
surveying the pale yellow lump on his plate.
“Shall we go along… on our bikes?”
“We’re
all different,” says Felicity. “It’s
important that everybody feels valued.”
“Some of
my best friends are gay,” says Charles.
Several times.
“Uncle
Quentin?” asks Rory.
“No, Rory.
Certainly not. And don’t let me ever hear
you say such a thing again!”
After dinner
Felicity throws away Rory’s and Toby’s
empty crisp packets and thinks about sorting out
the recycling… paper, plastic, bottles, cans. But
it’s so much easier bunging them all into
the wheelie bin - and the dustmen never notice.
On Sunday
morning, while Charles is at his flying lesson,
Felicity throws the bikes into the Range Rover
and drives two miles to the sea front. She and
the boys have a fantastic ride on the promenade.
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