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Oh Baby!
by Eric Miller

Fetally curled and sucking my thumb,
making believe it was mint chewing gum,
I was content beyond all belief.

But, all of a sudden, I shrieked “Good grief!”
as I began to move and make my way
from the darkness to the light of day.

Suddenly, I couldn’t move anymore,
as if I’d hit a rock, solid door
which was closed and locked
so from the goal, I’d be blocked.

Finally, the door began to move,
opening up a narrow groove
through which I couldn’t pass
because of my ample body mass.

Then I saw it inch toward me:
a forceps which would pull me free.
“No,” I cried, “I’m not a tooth.
I‘m a baby; it’s the gospel truth.”

But no one listened to what I said,
and I was dragged out very hard instead
to be born an only child, sibling free
into a world I thought was just about me.

But then some character gave me a slap,
so I let him know I didn’t like that crap.
Then between my legs he grabbed a part,
and I thought he was cutting out my heart,
but it was what I think they call
the very deepest cut of all.

Oblivious to this worldly maze
in which I’m still lost in a haze,
I look back to those halcyon days
when I was fetally curled in a daze.