The Short Humour Site

Home : Writers' Showcase : Submission Guidelines : A Man of a Few More Words : Links

Writers' Showcase

No Pun Intended
by Eric Miller

It is general speculation that my Auntie Bette is a hardcore, inveterate, gambling addict, and I would venture to say it is true that she can stake claim to having led a risky life. But she says that she just has a yen for wagering. On the chance that you ever get to sit in a game of poker with her, remember this advice: Don’t wildly raise the ante when you play with my Auntie, because she will call you many things, and loser will be one of them, which you will be. And that’s when you would be well advised to show some heart, to stop trying to be a card, and to do a two-step shuffle out of there. Now, I’m not trying to club this advice into you, and I’m not jesting, either. In fact, I’m playing it straight. If there’s one thing  I’m not, it’s a joker, especially when it comes to talking about her. All this being said, I hope I have drawn you a clear picture of my Auntie.

On the other hand, it’s not that easy to deal with my Uncle Monte either. He also has a style that might not suit you too well, as he doesn’t have any finesse. In fact, he carries a bit of a chip on his shoulder, and many people find him a royal pain. He actually prefers bridge to poker, so you usually will see him bouncing around in rubber games acting like a real dummy. Whatever you do, don’t let him trick you into following his lead. Avoid it at all costs, otherwise he will slam-dunk his trump cards onto the table in a bid to defy accepted convention.

May your pot always be ample and your house flush with fullness, no pun intended.