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In The Beginning
by Michael S. Collins

In the beginning there was nothing.

On the first day there was nothing. God had forgot to set his alarm clock.
On the second day there was nothing. God spent all day on an internet chatroom.
On the third day there was nothing. God had been watching daytime TV.
On the forth day there was nothing. God celebrated this by getting drunk.
On the fifth day there was nothing, due to the TV newscrews all going on strike.
On the sixth day God realized his errors, and banged up the universe in half an hour.
On the seventh day God realized his mistake, and got drunk, and chatted up some Greek goddesses in the bar.

Makes it all the more surprising he'd won that many God elections since, to be honest. Shows how much “creating everything” counts in the long run, I guess.

But changes were afoot.

Changes in the electoral process.

The next Great God Election was due. The incumbent up against The Guardian.

This story centres around the machinations of two God like beings fighting for the right to be supreme God of the cosmos. The White Guardian of Angelism, and the Black Guardian of Despotism.

The White Guardian was the attempted usurper to the status quo.

The Black Guardian was the one that been in place for millenia, and had created everything, answered prayers, started and finished wars, and invented and cured smallpox.

Bet you didn't expect that.

Life is full of such consistencies.

This is the story of an attempt to rig an election. The most important election of all. The God Election.

Soon we shall be introduced to our principle characters. One is called Maria Death, and she can be a bit grim, to be honest. The other is called George Smith.

One of them is human. It's Smith. Life isn't full of that much inconsistency.

Maria Death is Death but not deaf.

George Smith is human but lacking puns.

The Great God Election is in the process of being rigged.

And George Smith is about to meet Death. Because you see, his head is about to explode. In the middle of an Essex high street.