In The Beginning
by Michael S.
Collins
In the
beginning there was nothing.
On the first
day there was nothing. God had forgot to set his
alarm clock.
On the second day there was nothing. God spent
all day on an internet chatroom.
On the third day there was nothing. God had been
watching daytime TV.
On the forth day there was nothing. God
celebrated this by getting drunk.
On the fifth day there was nothing, due to the TV
newscrews all going on strike.
On the sixth day God realized his errors, and
banged up the universe in half an hour.
On the seventh day God realized his mistake, and
got drunk, and chatted up some Greek goddesses in
the bar.
Makes it all
the more surprising he'd won that many God
elections since, to be honest. Shows how much
“creating everything” counts in the
long run, I guess.
But changes
were afoot.
Changes in the
electoral process.
The next Great
God Election was due. The incumbent up against
The Guardian.
This story
centres around the machinations of two God like
beings fighting for the right to be supreme God
of the cosmos. The White Guardian of Angelism,
and the Black Guardian of Despotism.
The White
Guardian was the attempted usurper to the status
quo.
The Black
Guardian was the one that been in place for
millenia, and had created everything, answered
prayers, started and finished wars, and invented
and cured smallpox.
Bet you didn't
expect that.
Life is full
of such consistencies.
This is the
story of an attempt to rig an election. The most
important election of all. The God Election.
Soon we shall
be introduced to our principle characters. One is
called Maria Death, and she can be a bit grim, to
be honest. The other is called George Smith.
One of them is
human. It's Smith. Life isn't full of that much
inconsistency.
Maria Death is
Death but not deaf.
George Smith
is human but lacking puns.
The Great God
Election is in the process of being rigged.
And George
Smith is about to meet Death. Because you see,
his head is about to explode. In the middle of an
Essex high street.
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