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by Eric Miller

Franklin Gumber is his name
but since he is wobbly in the number game,
everyone has nicknamed him Fudge,
a moniker from which he cannot budge.

He actually is a very smart guy,
but numbers bore him and make him sigh.
“Close enough” is his well-known cry
as he fudges his calculations to just get by.

On the day that Fudge got hooked
by a lass who a wedding booked,
she thought she had his number
but to think that was dumber than lumber.

Because Fudge himself never gets a number right,
not even his own, as well as depth or height,
unless it refers to one special thing
which to the punch line now does us bring.

It’s actually pretty ironic, as well as quite funny,
but if he’s owed, he’s right on the money
to every single decimal point exact,
many times with an unfortunate lack of tact.

It’s gotten him into a few sticky wickets
and trapped him in a number of thickets,
but most of all it has kept him in a chocolate sludge,
guaranteeing that he’ll always be called Fudge.